What Great Leaders Do Differently 2016

Brent Catlett (@catlett1) and Brad MacLaughlin (@IsdBrad) led a great session at #edcampliberty, What Great Leaders Do Differently in 2016. I really enjoyed the discussion. It was everything EdCamp should be. There was enthusiastic participation from the room. Lots of great ideas were shared. 

In fact, several ideas were actually applauded. How cool is it that educators are gathering on a Saturday morning to discuss leadership and cheer each other on? The session gave me plenty of inspiration for this post.

So what do great leaders do differently in 2016?

1. They lead themselves first. Instead of focusing on managing others, they lead by example and model the qualities they would like to see in others.

If I am going lead anyone, I have to lead myself first via @IsdBrad #edcampliberty

— Brent Catlett (@catlett1) March 12, 2016

2. Great leaders take risks. They view failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. Great leaders make others feel safe to try something new. They understand setbacks.

3. They come from every corner of the school (students, teachers, support staff, etc.—not just admin). Leadership is more about disposition than position. Great leaders help develop new leaders and share leadership roles with others.

As a principal, I realize the best chance of sustainable, meaningful change only happens with strong teacher leadership. #edcampliberty

— David Geurin (@DavidGeurin) March 12, 2016

4. Great leaders are flexible. They see problems as opportunities. They are comfortable with ambiguity.

5. They are present. The entire school is their office. Traditional leaders might manage from behind a desk, but 2016 leaders can work from anywhere.

School leaders need to be visible and available for both teachers and students. #edcampliberty

— Scott Miller (@Miller_BHS) March 12, 2016

6. Great leaders are instructional leaders. They are out of the office for a reason—to be supportive of learning.

7. They are authentic. They admit mistakes. They are self-aware. They know their strengths and weaknesses. 

8. Great leaders are digital leaders. They recognize what it takes to succeed in a digital world. They are modeling the use of digital tools.

9. They are quick to give credit. And even quicker to shoulder blame.

Great leaders share the credit and shoulder the blame. Tweet this image.

10. Great leaders know their stuff. They are lead learners. They remain curious and are always seeking to learn.

11. They listen. And strive to understand. They lead with empathy. They lead with heart.

Leaders learning alongside teachers impacts change in school systems! It is about listening and the conversation! @catlett1 #edcampliberty

— Tracey Kracht (@TraceyKracht) March 12, 2016

12. Great leaders help others reach their goals. They don't impose their own goals or organizational goals. They start with helping individuals grow.

13. They generate enthusiasm. They have a great attitude, have great energy, and inspire others to be stronger and more enthusiastic too.

A common theme seemed to be that schools should be 'flat' organizations instead of hierarchies. And leaders should be working alongside other team members, in classrooms and hallways, and not separate from them. We need more great leaders for 2016 and beyond. Judging by the group at #edcampliberty this shouldn't be a problem!

Question: What are your thoughts on great leaders for 2016? What do they do differently? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below or share on or .

Poplular Posts Everyone's Reading #ICYMI

Listed below are some of the most popular posts from my site over the last month or so. By far, the article with the most views was 9 Ways to Make Learning Irresistible. In the post, I share ideas about finding a place of flow in the classroom, where the learner is totally engaged in the work. Check it out to see what you think about creating this type of experience for students.

The other posts were on a whole variety of topics. I tend to write about all sorts of things related to my work as a high school principal. And of course, one of the posts was from a guest blogger, Amber Dlugosh. She shared her experience getting students more fully invested in reading. We had a ton of feedback from readers, so that was exciting for sure.

If you see something here that looks interesting, I hope you'll check it out. And be sure to leave a comment or otherwise connect with me on Twitter or Facebook. I would love to hear from you.

Title	Views
9 Ways to Make Learning Irresistible February 21	7151
9 Reasons Every Educator Should Embrace Change January 24	3444
Guest Post: 6 Assumptions That Were Killing Reading in My Classroom February 8	2379
Good Leaders Know How to Get Out of the Way February 14	1781
11 Positive Tips for Dealing With Difficult Parents February 16	1548
17 Powerful Leadership Thoughts from #METC16 February 11	1461
Your Classroom Deserves to Get Noticed January 31	1206

Guest Post: 5 Ways to Create the Next Generation Library

Guest Post by Bobbie Wooderson

People don't have to visit a library anymore to access information. As a result, successful libraries are adapting to the needs of today's students. The overarching purpose of the school library is still to support literacy and learning, but the modern approach to these goals can look very different than the libraries of yesteryear. I've described five ways we've evolved our space into a next generation library.

1. Enlist brilliance

Every new idea for the library begins with input from students. Everything from the decor, to our Bolivar HS Makerspace, to reorganizing our fiction collection by genre. My students are brilliant, and when I empower them, they come up with ideas I would've never considered. They also share responsibility to carry through the ideas they develop. It has helped create an ownership of the space and has resulted in students promoting the library to their peers. Students feel this is THEIR space! Students are fostering a library community built out of their imaginations. They have helped transform a once traditional library into a high traffic collaboration space filled with creativity. See our Genius Hour group play this out!

(oh and we play music and let them eat in here too..shhh)

2. Repurpose, Reuse, Rebudget

I repurpose everything I can! And I beg for donations. Updating our library to a more current look started with just two cans of paint, two cans of spray paint, and a handful of artsy students and parents. We looked at every white space, blank window, etc. and asked, “How can we use it to promote reading?” Even though we set out to “design on a dime,” I think we did it for pennies.

When we needed a little more money for updated furniture, I surveyed teachers and students to see what online resources they were actually using. As a result, we didn’t renew a couple of our online subscriptions, and this provided the budget to buy eight new couches and funky Ikea lights. It is now a welcome “sanctuary” as the students like to call the space. We stretched our budget by redirecting library funds based on patron feedback. 

3. Focus on the customer

I encourage my students to “treat our visitors like customers.” We want them to walk in happy, and walk out happy with their “purchases.” Whether it’s helping with Chromebooks or finding the perfect book, I expect our student workers to smile, be friendly, and always be available to help. We also work diligently to promote our “products.” We are using Instagram and Twitter for book talks, shout-outs, peer-to-peer suggestions, and staff picks. We market the library and our books to our patrons enthusiastically. And it’s working. We’ve enjoyed circulation increases the last two years and our reading culture is growing stronger. We are creating an inviting atmosphere and teaching students “soft skills” for their future interpersonal interactions. 

4. Bring in the SWAT team

This year our school went 1:1 with Chromebooks. You might think our library would be less busy now with the removal of desktop computers and whole class reserves. Think again! The hub for Chromebooks has become our library. Our newly established SWAT (students working to advance technology) team is helping with any Chromebook/Google needs for students and staff. They will also be learning how to do basic repairs soon. Next year, our giant over-sized circulation desk will become the “help desk." Our library is now the go-to place for learning and technology support.

5. Collaborate like a crazy person!

I love my colleagues. Every day they amaze me with their creativity and passion for making learning purposeful. Along with our students, these like minded educators are the reason our library flourishes. When we heard phrases like “I hate to read,” I collaborated with other teachers to find new ways to put the fire back into reading. Check out my literary partner in crime Amber Dlugosh to find out more about it. Through this collaboration a fun new class launched, Reading Cafe. Check it out on my very bearded buddy, Andy Love's podcast.

Last but not least….my biggest fan is my principal! He believes in our library, supports our innovations, promotes our program, understands setbacks, and guides us by example as a reader and leader.

Collaboration and feedback guides every decision, every purchase, every change in our library. Bolivar High School Library is committed to making our library outstanding for the next generation patron!

Bobbie Wooderson is Library Media Specialist at Bolivar High School. She is passionate about reading, learning, innovation, and student ownership. Although she has worked in the Bolivar district for a number of years, she is in her 2nd year at BHS. In this short time, she has made a remarkable impact. She has been a leader for Genius Hour, makerspace, and modern library design. And, of course, she has been a champion of reading and research in our building.

http://bwooderson.wix.com/bhslibrary

https://twitter.com/bwooderson




Question: How has your library changed to meet current needs? If there were no barriers, what would your school library be like? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below, or respond on or . 

7 Biggest Surprises of 1-to-1 So Far

Last August we launched into 1-to-1 at Bolivar High School. After years of dreaming and planning we were thrilled to be off and running. We elected to go with HP Chromebooks as our school provided device, but also allowed students the option to use their own device, provided it would run the Chrome browser or be compatible with Google Classroom and Google Apps.

Overall, we have been very pleased with our implementation. There were definitely a few early challenges we had to overcome. And there are some challenges that remain.

1. From our survey data, we learned a majority of parents report that they really don't know exactly how the device is being used for learning. So we have some work to do in this area. I don't think it was for lack of trying though. We held parent meetings leading up to the implementation and have showcased examples of the devices in action through social media and parent newsletters.

As a result of the survey data, our student digital leadership team is planning a Digital Learning Showcase in conjunction with our regular Parent Open House. We are going to have tables set up manned by students who can demonstrate different ways they've used the devices for learning. We'll let parents play Kahoot. And we'll display examples of student work that has been developed using technology. It will be completely student led.

2. It's challenging to get filtering right. Our intent was to filter content at home as well as at school. There proved to be some technical challenges with the original plan our tech department had developed. We ended up choosing Go Guardian as the solution to our home filtering concerns. The only thing we filter at home is adult content.

Filtering at school has also been challenging. Our tech people tell me our current filter is to blame, and we will likely have a new provider next year. It seems we can never be sure what is being filtered from day to day. We wanted to keep YouTube unblocked since so there is so much opportunity for learning there. Of course, there is also plenty of material that isn't right for school, or maybe for anywhere. 

Most social media is unblocked at school. Exceptions are Facebook, Snapchat, and a few others. Again, social media has become much more than a tool for social. It is quickly becoming a major source of business, networking, marketing, and learning and sharing. Maybe we should consider unblocking Facebook too? The decision to keep it blocked was made on the belief that it had fewer benefits to learning than some of the others.

3. Teachers can help lead professional development. Our training plan wasn't nearly as comprehensive as some others. We didn't want to treat everyone as if they were in the same place in their learning. We wanted it to be more customized. Our philosophy is that professional learning is 51% the responsibility of the individual. The school is there to support and create conditions for adult learning as a partner for the other 49%.

So most of our PD was done through sharing with each other and by sharing resources. We did provide teachers with a Chromebook a full semester in advance of our launch to help give them a head start. We held a few Tech Cafe meetings, where teachers met together to learn and share. And, we provided a few lessons online that teachers could work through on their own.

Once a month, we have a group of teachers lead learning for the rest of the faculty by sharing ways they have used digital tools to support learning. The teachers are deciding which tools and practices to share and then leading the staff through some related learning. So basically we asked teachers to own this piece and help other teachers get the information they need to grow.

4. Digital distractions are a concern for teachers. Nearly 60% of our teachers indicated that students were constantly distracted from academic work by the Chromebook. But only 7% of students we surveyed admitted that the Chromebook is a regular distraction. The discrepancy in the perceptions of our students and teachers raises several questions. Do students not think they are distracted but they really are? Is there a difference between what students and teachers consider distracted? Are students in complete denial? Are teachers hyper-sensitive to student multi-tasking?

I'm not sure about the answers to these questions. It calls for further exploration. However, I do think fears about distractions can be magnified by educators. There have always been distractions in the classroom. Students don't need a device for this to be an issue. When I see students slumped over in desks, with their eyes heavy and nearly lifeless, I see a distracted learner in that situation too. Daydreaming. Passing notes. Reading a book. There are lots of ways students have been distracted now and in years past, even without devices.

I think the key to the distraction problem is to create a more relevant, engaging learning environment, one where students are actively learning and not just passively consuming information. I detail a vision for this type of learning environment is a recent post, 9 Ways to Make Learning Irresistible. We will continue to have conversations about this and find ways we can support students and teachers. Dealing with distractions in our connected world is something most everyone faces.

5. There were some early logistical issues we had to work through. Nearly 90% of our students are taking the Chromebook home daily. The others check the Chromebook in and out in our library at the beginning and end of the day. At first, this process was a little crazy. But we now have a few student workers who completely manage the check-in and check-out routine every day. It took some time for us to work out some of the details. As well planned as we were, the devil is always in the details. How do we collect the device when a student moves away? How do we track damage? How do we track loaners? Collect payments? There were a few bumps along the way, but most of these systems are working well now.

Everyone has use of a Chromebook during the school day, but we require students to pay a $25 insurance fee to take the Chromebook home. We wrestled with this issue quite a bit. On the one hand, we don't want students to miss out on access because of lack of financial resources, but on the other hand, we felt there would be greater personal ownership if there was an upfront investment. We tried to make that cost reasonable.

6. We need a more concerted effort around digital citizenship. We did a few things early on to communicate expectations to students. We had some lessons on Google Classroom. We had a guest speaker provide assemblies related to cyber safety. And of course, we have an acceptable use policy. But I still think we need to do more. 

Our teachers are great about using teachable moments to share wisdom about online use. And digital citizenship is part of the curriculum in a couple of courses. But I would like to see us develop a more comprehensive approach that is really embedded in our culture. We've talked about having a system where students can earn greater access, to social media for instance, by completing certain activities and demonstrating positive leadership in this area.

7. And one of our best surprises is that damage to the devices is less than we expected. That's a real credit to our students. They have done a great job taking care of the Chromebooks. Mostly, we've had some broken screens, a few devices that were lost or stolen, and some hardware failures covered by warranty. But overall, we are doing very well in this area. We were able to add 800 devices in our building without adding any additional staff. I don't think that would be possible with any device other than a Chromebook.

There are a lot of moving parts to make a successful 1-to-1 program. Beyond the logistical concerns, the biggest shift has to be in how we teach and learn. Most every teacher in our building has taken steps to use the technology to benefit learning. But we definitely still have room to grow. We didn't mandate how the devices were to be used. Instead, we worked to develop a framework of why technology can be so powerful in shifting agency for learning to the learner. 

I can't say enough about how our technology department has supported this effort. They really make all of the details work so we can focus on the teaching and learning aspects. If they weren't so committed to this project, there is no way we would be where we are today.

Question: What are challenges you see with 1-to-1? What is your best advice for a school considering going 1-to-1? What questions do you have? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Will This Attack or Preserve the Dignity of a Child?

Lori and I are blessed with four kids, and over the years our family has been blessed by many great teachers who have helped our children grow and learn. Our oldest, Drew, is now in his first year of college. Cooper is a high school senior. Maddie is a high school freshman. And Emma is in 6th grade. All four kids have had so many positive experiences in school thanks to their teachers and principals.

But there have also been a handful of times that were not positive. You don't really ever forget when you feel your child's dignity was compromised. If you feel he or she was embarrassed by a teacher, it's hard to let it go. I think parents are just wired that way. We want to protect and defend our kids. And it angers me on a professional level, too.

As educators we are charged with always building stronger kids. Sometimes that means we have tough love and set them straight. Sometimes we have to discipline them. Not every situation is positive, but every situation can be used to build dignity and avoid tearing a child down. Every situation can be handled in a positive manner.

Using sarcasm. Cutting remarks. Public humiliation. No student should ever have to endure this type of behavior from an educator. All schools should work to create a culture where it is not acceptable to steal anyone's dignity. Schools should be a place where adults are committed to do everything possible to preserve respect.

I should also note that I understand teachers and principals are human too. We all make mistakes. I'm not angry about the times when I felt one of our kids was treated poorly. And I'm not accusing anyone of being malicious. I don't think there are many teachers who come to school and think today I'm going to make it my goal to ruin a kid's day. It's usually just a careless word or deed or a bad moment. It can happen to any of us.

Image retrieved: http://rongelok.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/power-of-words.jpg

In fact, I'm sure there have been times I've said things that were not helpful, and that made a student feel less than. But that is never my intention. And I work very hard to communicate a high level of respect for all students. In fact, I always start the school year visiting with students about respect. I tell them up front, "I will never intentionally disrespect you. If I ever say or do something that makes you feel disrespected, please let me know so I can apologize." I then challenge them to treat their teachers and each other the same way. If nothing else, let's make sure that respect is important here.

Is it ever okay to take a child's dignity? Every reasonable person would likely say no, so why does it still happen? Teachers can lose patience, feel disrespected themselves, or just be having a bad day. We want to save face, feel in control, be shown respect. But we have to get past that. We can't let our feelings cause us to act unprofessionally. When you can respond to disrespect with love and care, it only makes you stronger. We must always model kindness, compassion, and humility. 

Recently I was in a situation where I felt a student's dignity was being compromised by an adult, and I was present. I was completely caught off guard and didn't really know how to respond in the moment. The student didn't seem too bothered by it, but I was very uncomfortable. Thankfully, the conversation turned in another direction. I later followed up and asked the adult about what happened, "How do you think (the student) felt when you said..." The adult was open to the feedback and seemed to understand how the words might have been hurtful. We had a good conversation.

I think we also have an obligation to step-in when we observe students stealing each other's dignity. There are a number of ways to do this without further embarrassing anyone. We can change the direction of the conversation, pull the student aside, or simply give a disapproving look to the offender. I had a teacher tell me once they didn't want to get involved when this type of thing happened. They said students need to learn to navigate these situations themselves to develop their social skills. I completely disagree. Our job is to create emotional safety. Students should be able to count on teachers to stick up for them.

There have been a few times I can remember where a teacher was openly critical of a student in front of the class, while the student was not present. Of course, this information made it back to the student, who was not happy. If the same information had been shared directly to the student in a private manner, there would be no concern. The teacher would be giving the student valuable feedback. We can never be too careful with our words. We should ask ourselves, "Will these words be beneficial to this situation? Will they serve to build-up or tear-down?"

Sometimes it's very obvious that dignity is being attacked. Other times it is more subtle. We need to question any practices in our schools that might chip away at dignity. Intervention programs are extremely popular right now in education. But I question the wisdom of endless remediation of students. I think it can be a constant reminder of a student's deficits and lead to feelings of despair and hopelessness toward school. I think we should give students extra support when they need it, but we need to be careful about how we do this. We need to build on students' strengths and help them find things they are passionate about. I think that's just as important as any of our academic goals.

Every teacher should be intentional about contributing to a culture of kindness and respect. We should always ask the question, "Will this attack or preserve the dignity of a child?"

Can you think of other examples of practices that might chip away at students' dignity? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below to respond. Or, share on or .

9 Ways to Make Learning Irresistible

True story. The bell rang and nobody moved.

They were completely focused, totally engrossed. They probably didn't even hear the bell because they were so focused on what they were learning. Amazing, right?

How often are students counting down the minutes of each class? They have their eyes on the clock. They start packing up early, preparing themselves for the transition to the next class. Sometimes they are even lined up at the door, waiting for the bell to ring to move on to the next thing.

But not on this particular occasion. The students were so into what they were learning, the teacher had to remind them it was time to leave. You can work more on this tomorrow. You'll be late for your next class. It's time to go.

via @silviaduckworth

How often does this happen in your classroom? How often does the learning in your classroom elicit this kind of passion and commitment? If your classroom is like most, it happens infrequently.

I remember when I was teaching high school English, I would tell my students, "If you work hard all hour, I'll give you the last five minutes to relax and just visit with your friends." That was a terrible idea. I would never do that now. I tried to be an engaging teacher and was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.

But the underlying message was that learning is "work" and unpleasant and you need a break, so I'll give you some time later to visit. We should create conditions where students are disappointed there isn't more time to work on whatever they are learning. As for my promise of social time, my students should've been interacting throughout the whole class. I don't have to reserve time for you to visit. You will be talking with your classmates as part of the process. You will be sharing the amazing things you are learning.

We have all experienced moments of flow. It's during these times that we feel we are completely immersed in what we are doing. We are in the zone. Flow is a mental state where we have intense focus, complete involvement, and enjoy the process entirely. It can happen in learning, play, work, or a variety of activities. When we find our flow, it probably feels more like play even if it's not. It's amazing what we can accomplish when we feel this sense of full absorption in what we are doing. It's where we find our genius.

Image retrieved: http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/wp-content/uploads/flow-notebook3.jpg

It seems obvious to me the classroom full of students that didn't budge when the bell rang was experiencing flow. When I heard this report from one of our teachers, I was thrilled. Let's celebrate! That is so cool. We want this type of learning experience for our students.

But should this be a rare happening? Shouldn't every student experience this type of full engagement, at least on a semi-regular basis?

While it's likely not possible to maintain flow at all times, shouldn't it be something we seek to help our students achieve often? Why isn't this a priority? Shouldn't we aim for this type of full engagement? Wouldn't our students be stronger learners now and in the future if they knew the feeling of complete immersion in what they are learning?

But instead, we settle for on-task. If students appear engaged and participate in the lesson, we have achieved success. Or we hear demand for rigor. That communicates a positive outlook on learning. Rigor does not sound fun. It sounds just a little painful. 

Image retrieved: http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/wp-content/uploads/flow-notebook3.jpg

So in the name of rigor, we feel the need to assign homework as sighs and groans echo around the room. I'm calling for a culture where students are so excited about what they are learning, they want to extend the learning on their own. They give themselves their own homework, because they are curious and what they are learning is interesting to them.

So what are we afraid of? Why are we covering content and teaching lessons without aiming for more? What teacher wouldn't want a classroom full of students who are so into what they are learning, they don't want to stop?

Maybe we are afraid to give up some control. Maybe we're afraid we won't be the purveyors of knowledge? Or that we won't cover as much curriculum? That students won't be prepared for standardized tests? Or that it just won't work for these kids? Blame, blame, blame. We blame the system. We blame the parents. We blame everyone possible, and just continue to play school and make sure we are good enough.

But it's time to stop playing the blame game. We can have amazing learning that can work for all kids, and we don't have to wait for someone else to change. There are places where this is happening now, even in schools that are quite traditional. What it takes is an innovative teacher. It takes you. You can create more and more experiences of flow in your classroom. You can make learning irresistible.

But it does require sacrifice. You have to choose different priorities. The first priority is to really know your students and what excites them. It's about relationships. The second priority is to see them fully engaged, and finding moments of flow, as often as possible. And then, your curriculum becomes the third priority. I realize the curriculum is important, but if you have great relationships and a culture of learning, students will exceed your goals for the curriculum.

So all of that reflection brings me to these ideas for creating flow in your classroom.

9 Proven Ways to Make Learning Irresistible (How to find flow in your classroom...)

1. Learning involves choice. Learners need greater ownership and opportunities to make choices regarding time, place, path, and pace. 

2. Learning involves student conversations. Whoever is doing the talking is doing the learning.

3. Learning that is creative. Creativity is one of the best ways to find flow.

4. Learning makes a difference. When learning is making a difference for me, for others, or for my community, it matters so much more.

5. Learning involves play. Play involves fun, laughter, imagination. These are great ways to find flow. Making learning a game can be a great way to make learning irresistible.

6. Learning is filled with discovery. Constructivist learning promotes true understanding and appeals to a learner's sense of wonder and curiosity.

7. Learning involves community. Connect with experts. Invite the community in. Go out into the community. Break down the classroom walls.

8. Learning that is visible to real audiences. Learning is more relevant and meaningful when I know my work will be valuable to a real audience.

9. Learning that is challenging. Not rigor. It means arduous and severe, and it makes you want to have an ice cream cone. But learning that is challenging pushes you on. Why can a teen spend hours trying to conquer a video game? That's challenging. And that involves flow. Capture this in the classroom and watch it transform the culture of learning.

Question: How do you find moments of flow in your classroom? How do you make learning irresistible? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

11 Positive Tips for Dealing with Difficult Parents

It's often the most dreaded part of a teacher's job—dealing with difficult parents. When you have "that parent" it's so easy to just avoid picking up the phone to make a call home. It doesn't seem worth it. Death and public speaking are counted among people's greatest fears. Many educators would add calling an angry parent to the list.

It's especially true for those new to the profession, even though I think all teachers struggle with this to an extent. Most people don't enjoy dealing with negative emotions or unreasonable expectations. But avoiding the problem won't make it go away.

But the right approach can make working with any parent a more positive experience. And if you win the parents' support, it will make your job so much easier and help the child be more successful. Here are 11 ideas for making parent interactions more productive.

1. Be Proactive

Don't wait until there is a problem before you start to build a relationship with parents. Reach out to them and let them know that you are committed to helping their child succeed. If certain parents are known to be critical or unreasonable, communicate early and often to prevent misunderstandings and build some positive feelings. Rik Rowe has been a leader in promoting #GoodCallsHome on Twitter. The idea is to make regular phone calls to share good news with parents. Then if there is a problem, it won't be the first time you've called.

2. Find Common Ground

When having a difficult conversation with a parent, do everything you can to establish shared purpose. Parents want their kids to be successful and so do you. Focus on how the problem is impacting their child, not how it's impacting you, the classroom, or other students. While those are all important areas of concern for you, parents tend to focus on the success of their child. Let the parents know you want to work with them to address the issue.

3. Focus on the Positive

Every kid has positive qualities that need to be recognized. It's important to focus on these first in communicating with parents. It takes several positive comments to overcome one negative one. It's also important to focus on communicating positive intentions. Work together with the parent to establish some improvement goals that will benefit the student.


4. Listen

When difficult conversations turn to damaging conversations, it's usually because the school is more interested in being right than trying to understand the perspective of the parent. LISTEN. Don't be quick to judge. Be curious. What is eliciting this idea or emotion from the parent? Show you are listening by paraphrasing what the parent is saying before you add something new. Ask clarifying questions to make sure you understand.

5. Show How Much You Care

When parents know how much you care about their child, it builds trust and makes the teacher and parent relationship stronger. You can show how much you care by getting to know your students, taking an interest in their activities and hobbies, and making extra efforts to help them. Parents know you care when they feel you completely, and unconditionally accept their child and want what's best for him or her.

6. Don't Lose Your Empathy

Even when parents are angry, demanding, and unreasonable, commit to keep your mindset in a place of empathy. Don't take the negative emotion personal. It's not about you. Even if it is, it's not helpful to take it personally. Strong emotions are often elicited because parents want the best for their kids. Sometimes, the parents are dealing with other trauma or hardship and the frustrations of life get released on you. Not fun. But stay with empathy. It's tough to be a parent, especially when life is painful and filled with hardship.

7. Stay Firm

Just because you start and end with empathy doesn't mean you should give in to whatever demands the parent has. Ultimately, you have to make decisions based on your professional experience and what's best for the child. Although parent input is a must, the final decision rests with you. So be firm about what options will work and don't offer something that isn't a wise choice.

8. It's Okay to Negotiate

Although you must be firm on some decisions, it's also okay to negotiate with parents. Some give and take is necessary to maintain a spirit of cooperation. If you turn down every request a parent has they will view you as rigid and uncaring. In education, our end users are the students and parents. We should do everything within reason to ensure they are satisfied and having a positive experience.

9. Ask for Support

One of the best things you can do is share your parent struggles with your principal or a colleague. The can provide support and encouragement to you. And, they may have information to add to the mix to help you understand how to proceed in a situation.

10. Don't Get Backed Into a Corner

It's always best to keep multiple options available and not get backed into a corner. Instead of making promises you may not be able to keep, take a tentative stance that will allow for some wiggle room if you need it. It's always best to underpromise and overdeliver. 

Probably the quickest way to get cornered is to say or do something that is disrespectful to the parent or child. Clearly, it's not a good idea to ever act unprofessionally. But it happens. And as soon as the teacher (or principal) has made this mistake, that issue will take center stage over any of the issues that need to be addressed with the student.

11. Set Boundaries

Most parents respect boundaries because they are kind and considerate. But difficult parents can plow through without any concern for you, your classroom, or good manners. When boundaries are crossed, it's important to politely, but directly establish expectations. If you clarify boundaries and still don't get cooperation, you should involve your principal.