10 Thoughts On Positive Attitude to Share With Your Team

A positive school is built on positive moments. It doesn't just happen by accident. Every interaction counts. It takes a concerted effort on the part of everyone to create an environment that is awesome. So what are some things everyone should know to be more positive in their own mindset and help contribute to that positive environment we all want? 

Here are ten thoughts to consider:

1. Your positive attitude, more than your talent or expertise, will determine your impact.

Positive people inspire and influence others. If you want to help others be great, you have to demonstrate a positive attitude. Your ability to be joyful, hopeful, and resilient will inspire others like nothing else.

2. Positive attitude is not believing everything is okay; it's believing everything is going to be okay.

Positive people find the silver lining in the most difficult of circumstances. They learn from difficulties. They don't pretend everything is okay. That's not positive thinking. That's denial. Positive people just believe that things can get better. They expect things to get better. And they believe they might just learn something from the difficulty along the way.

3. Positive attitude is not feeling happy all the time.

Even people who are positive feel negative emotions like sadness, disappointment, and regret. But these feelings do not overwhelm them, partly because they are able to also feel positive emotions simultaneously. For example, perhaps at the same moment they grieve for a loss, they are also thankful for the blessing they had for a time. Even when things are at their worst, positive people view negative feelings as temporary and expect their emotional well-being to improve.

4. When you bring positive energy to a space, negativity leaves.

Negative energy can create a toxic culture and spread throughout your school. It's so important to create and nurture a positive environment to keep the negativity out. Scientists have found that people's brain patterns actually start to align as they spend time together. Attitudes are literally contagious it seems. 

5. It takes at least 4 positive experiences to overcome a negative one.

I'm not sure this number is actually correct. But I do know we need to relish the positive moments and use them to overcome the setbacks and difficulties we face. It you do 20 things right today but make one mistake, you will be tempted to ignore all of those positives and focus only on your mistake. It takes deliberate celebration of the positives to help overcome the negatives. Relish those positive moments.

6. Sharing gratitude grows your positive reserves.

When you focus on the positive experiences in your day and share those with others, it makes you stronger and helps others too. We often start our meetings just by sharing the good things that are happening. What are three things you're thankful for in the last 24 hours? Who are you thankful for? If you want more energy and enthusiasm, focus on showing appreciation. Lift up others, and you'll be lifted up too.

7. Positive people are problem solvers. 

They don't make excuses. They find solutions. When you are negative, you see only problems. In fact, negative people seem to find a problem for every solution. But positive people can open their minds more possibilities. They can see possible solutions that others might miss.

8. Positive people are playful.

"Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying." I remember these words from my childhood. My mom would say it after making fun of some unfortunate circumstance. It was a way of coping, and I'm thankful we had permission to see the humor in little misfortunes. Positive people don't take themselves too seriously, and they are eager to have fun while getting the job done.

9. Resilience is built on positive thinking.

Positive thoughts give you power over your circumstances. Don't let negative thinking give your circumstances power over you. Reality does not shape you. The lens through which you view reality is what actually shapes you. Make that a positive lens. Some of the happiest people in the world have very little of what this world has to offer. But they view the world through a positive lens and make the most of whatever they have.

10. Positive people are happier, more creative, more productive, and have more energy.

We often think hard work leads to success. We just need to work harder, try harder, be more committed, sacrifice more and then we'll be happy. But that's never enough. Turns out, it's better to start with being happy and then let that drive your productivity, creativity, and success. This amazing TED Talk makes the case much better than I can.

What is your best tip for keeping a positive attitude? Share it with us all so we can learn from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Are You a Historian, Reporter, or Futurist?

One of the books I recently finished reading was No Limits: Blow the CAP off your capacity by John Maxwell. Maxwell shares the perspective of his friend Paul Martinelli and how he has pursued continual improvement:

We have three options in life. We can be historians, reporters, or futurists. The historian wants to remind us of everything in the past and wants to filter everything in the future through that. The reporter is really attached to the conditions and circumstances of today, and that's just the way it is. The futurist focuses on what hasn't yet been done. He says, "There is more for us to do. We can do more. We can broaden our capacity. There is more of our potential we can take advantage of."

Although this idea is aimed at growing oneself and reaching your personal potential, I thought it could be applied to education as well. In school life, where do you see yourself? How does this analogy work for educators?

The historian probably complains about kids these day, remembers fondly the past as if everything in the good ole days was problem free. The historian holds onto yesterday and doesn't see much potential in tomorrow. He sees anything new as something "we already do" or that "we tried and it didn't work." There are few new possibilities worth considering. If only we could return to a time when life was good. In my experience, the historian will blame students, parents, policymakers, or just about anyone else for the problems of today. He will overestimate the accomplishments of the previous generation while underestimating the potential in the next generation.

The reporter is working tirelessly to respond to the mandates and initiatives of today. They have their heads down with their noses to the grindstone. Sometimes they forget their larger purpose or mission, but they are busy collecting data, chasing test scores, and responding to whatever urgent needs arise. They are expending tremendous energy, but there is no long term perspective. The reporter will often burn out, feeling like they are on a hamster wheel going nowhere. It's hard not to feel bitter when you play by the rules and do what you're told, but the rules keep changing or your work is never considered good enough. The reporter doesn't dare dream of a better way or a brighter tomorrow. They are just trying to cope with the realities and do what they can to survive.

The futurist always has the long term perspective. There is a great sense of mission and purpose in how amazing school could be and how important this work is for students. There is a desire to create positive change. To be a difference maker. To prepare kids for their future and not our past. They want to push forward into new territory, take risks, and do whatever it takes to create a better learning experience for students. They see what could be possible, and they work to make it reality. They invest their energy not only in the routine work of today but also in changing the trajectory of tomorrow. 

If you are a historian, you might need to find a different profession. Sorry if that offends you, but I think it's true. If you're a reporter, I invite you to become not only a doer but also a dreamer. And if you're a futurist, keep being a positive change maker. Share your passion and your vision and take steps each day to make education stronger for students.

What are your thoughts on this analogy? How would you add to it? How would you critique it? Leave a comment below or respond on or .

The Facts and the Stories We Tell Ourselves Based on the Facts

I've been planning to write this post for the past two years. That's right. It's been that long. I'm not sure why I didn't write it sooner. But the events of this weekend swiftly and certainly moved these ideas off the sidelines.

Friday night we had home football. There is always some stress associated with each home game. Our admin team often jokes about how much easier the road games are. There are just so many things that can go wrong with large crowds. On top of that, I was at the end of a long week and physically tired. That's typical for Friday night, right?

So I noticed a Twitter post after halftime that tagged our school. I knew the individual who posted it and have a very good relationship with him, although we haven't interacted that often. 

But I quickly became offended by the post. How could this person publicly criticize the school? He should know better than that. He manages people and events and must understand the challenges that come with that. Social media is not the place to air your concerns, at least not initially. Come talk to me. Give me a chance to solve the problem.

So...

I quickly fired off a text message to the individual expressing my frustration and disappointment.

Then came the reply, "Should I delete it?"

"Well, of course you should," I thought.

I responded in another message ramping up my indignation.

And then when his next reply came, I got it. He clarified and all of the sudden, it was clear. It hit me all at once. It almost took the air out of me. He didn't mean it that way! I took it wrong!

In my haste, I completely misunderstood the comment. I missed it completely.

I went back and read it again. Any other person reading the Tweet would NOT have taken it the way I did. I had started climbing the assumption ladder and had gone straight to the top rung.

Time to own my mistake. My very embarrassing mistake.

I sent my apologies. I tried to explain. I told him he did nothing wrong. I should know better. It's totally on me. I'm sorry. I felt terrible.

Fortunately, the person on the other end was gracious in accepting my apology. Looking back, I can't even believe I made this mistake. I practice these skills every day. Not assuming. Trying to understand the other person's perspective. Not jumping to conclusions.

Retrieved: http://metothepowerofwe.com/me-to-the-power-of-we/assume-dangerous-act/

So how does this happen?

A couple of years ago I read the book Crucial Conversations. It is the best thing I've ever read about effective communication when the stakes are high, when there might be strong opposing thoughts or opinions.

One part in particular is so important for us in keeping conversations safe. We have to be careful about the stories we tell ourselves. Here are a few of the big ideas I took from the book.

Stories Cause Feelings

Someone else doesn't make you mad. You get angry because of the story you tell yourself. "I feel bad because of my story, not your actions." Emotions don't settle in like fog. Others don't make you mad. You make you mad. You tell yourself a story, and the story leads to the emotional response. Once these stories take hold, they have a life of their own.

Avoid Silence or Violence

To keep good dialogue, we have to keep safety in the conversation. If we lose safety, the conversation will turn to one or the other or both parties holding back and not being honest or lashing out and taking cheap shots. Neither silence nor violence is a healthy response. We want to develop shared meaning and be totally honest. We want to learn from the conversation, not be right or wrong.

Stories Are How We Explain Why, How, and What Is Happening To Us

So even when presented with exactly the same set of circumstances, we will determine if it is positive or negative based on the story we tell ourselves. Our story is how we attach significance to these events. We decide the level of significance based on the story we tell.

Many Possible Responses

For every set of circumstances, there is not just one way to respond. My emotions are NOT the only valid response. So just because such and such happens to me doesn't mean I have to respond in a certain way. There are many possible responses.

Slow Down

The thing that got me in trouble was how quickly I settled on the story in my mind based on the Tweet I was reading. I attached a certain meaning almost immediately. I didn't consider any other possibilities. Several things had happened earlier that primed me for this response, but no matter, I still wouldn't have failed in communicating if I would've slowed down or even consulted with someone else before drawing conclusions.

Three Stories

We tend to tell ourselves three types of stories to explain things we don't like. We also use these stories to justify our own bad behavior.

Victim Stories - "It's not my fault."
Villain Stories - "It's all your fault."
Helpless Stories - "There's nothing else I can do."

Stories Result in a Path to Action

1. See/hear (facts)
2. Tell a story (interpretation of facts)
3. Feel (emotions)
4. Act (choose a response)

Our path to action may seem reasonable and certain, but if it is based on a story and a feeling, we may act in ways that are not helpful. I saw the Tweet on Friday night and immediately told myself a story. Then I felt upset and even angry. And that led to the awkward text message conversation that ensued. Oh my...

So this is really practical stuff that we can apply daily. In fact, the entire book has great wisdom for educators. We deal with so many crucial conversations. It happens all day, every day. It's important to develop these skills.

It's so important to remember there are the facts and then there are the stories we tell ourselves based on the facts. To close, here are four questions to ask that can help to avoid the crazy dance of some of our stories.

1. Am I pretending not to notice my role in the problem?
2. Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this? This one would have stopped me cold on Friday night.
3. What do I really want?
4. What would I do right now if I really wanted these results?

I encourage you to read Crucial Conversations. I still mess it up sometimes (obviously), but the book was really helpful for me in dealing with difficult situations. Have you noticed yourself telling stories and jumping to conclusions? Maybe with student behaviors? Or colleagues? Are you retreating to silence or resorting to violence in your conversations? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .