If you've followed my blog, you might know I really like to refer to classroom management as classroom leadership. But that's not how we typically think of it.
Regardless of what we call it, it's challenging. It's one of the toughest things for early career teachers to get a handle on. And even seasoned teachers will have their fair share of challenges and not know how to respond in every situation.
It really has to be an ongoing process of learning and growth. No one ever has it all figured out.
So if you're struggling with student behaviors, give yourself a break. Keep working at it. Learn from others. Study different methods. And reflect on your own failures and successes.
In this post, I'm looking at some of the BIG mistakes that can happen when a teacher is frustrated or has a lapse in judgement. It's important to think about these in advance to plan for these NEVER to happen. When they do, it undermines the development of a positive classroom and healthy culture of learning.
These behaviors are harmful to kids and can harm your ability to develop a respectful, orderly classroom environment.
9 Mistakes That Will Sabotage Your Classroom Management
1. Painting a child into a corner.
Your most challenging students will often try to engage the teacher in power struggles. A skilled teacher can avoid these high stakes moments. The goal is to stop a disruptive behavior while also keeping the student in class. It's important to avoid a showdown between student and teacher. These situations end up with everyone losing. The teacher doesn't have to win in the moment. The situation needs to be addressed in the moment, but fully resolving a problem can happen at a later time. After some time passes, the results are often much better than escalating the situation when emotions are hot.
2. Handling private matters publicly.
Students don't want to lose face in front of their peers. You can always delay and say, "Let's talk about this later." Just be sure to follow up as you promised. If a student feels disrespected or belittled in front of others, it will not end well. Try to keep tough conversations private. The tone will often be much different when there is not an audience.
3. Failing to give a kid a fresh start.
We all want to have an opportunity for a fresh start. We don't want to be judged by our worst moments. Our students need forgiveness too. So after an issue is resolved, let the student know they have a clean slate. Today is a new day. Let them know you believe in them and expect them to do great.
4. Using cutting sarcasm.
Sarcasm can be very dangerous. I've seen it used in a way that is not threatening and is just playful, but sarcasm can be degrading and manipulating. The best advice is to not use sarcasm at all.
5. Speaking poorly of someone's friends or family.
Never criticize a student's friends or family members. You can certainly stand up for what's right, but don't pass judgments on people. It's also very important to never talk badly about a student when they are not present. If you wouldn't make a comment in front of that student's mother or grandmother, you probably shouldn't say it to a group of students or another teacher. If your harsh comment gets back to the student, it will be difficult to ever repair the relationship.
6. Speaking poorly of another staff member.
Never criticize another staff member in front of students as this creates a toxic environment. And, always defend a colleague if students are being critical. Even fair criticism isn't fair when it's shared at the wrong time and location. Tell your students if they have a concern with another teacher they should go talk to that person directly. If you have a concern with another teacher, you too should speak to them directly about it and not complain about them behind their back.
7. Losing control of your own behavior.
Always remember you're the adult and a professional. You have to stay in control of yourself and your actions. If you act badly, it will make it much more difficult to address the student's misbehavior. The student and the parents will be focused on what you did instead of focusing the responsibility on the student's own actions. I can't tell you how many times I've worked to help a student reflect on their own bad behavior, but they are focused on what the teacher did instead. Sometimes that happens when the teacher was completely upright. But sometimes it's because the teacher showed up poorly in the situation.
8. Comparing a student to a sibling or another student.
Avoid comparing students to one another or to a brother or sister. These types of judgments chip away at dignity. You wouldn't want to be subjected to public comparisons with another teacher. Students don't like this either. Even comments like "Your sister was so smart or funny" that seem positive may chip away at a student's dignity. People want to be noticed for who they are and not compared to someone else.
9. Rushing to judgment without listening.
This one encompasses so much. It's easy to jump to conclusions or make assumptions in the course of a day working with students. Teachers make so many decisions. I shared recently about a situation where I really embarrassed myself by making a quick judgment in a situation. The key is slow down and approach problems with a sense of curiosity. Work to understand what is going on with the child, what needs they are trying to meet, or why they are not successful even when expectations are clear and consistent. In a recent post, I shared 21 phrases that can help with these conversations.
Of course, there are many other factors involved in building a positive classroom culture. What are some of your thoughts? Leave a comment below or respond on Facebook or Twitter.
A positive school is built on positive moments. It doesn't just happen by accident. Every interaction counts. It takes a concerted effort on the part of everyone to create an environment that is awesome. So what are some things everyone should know to be more positive in their own mindset and help contribute to that positive environment we all want?
Here are ten thoughts to consider:
1. Your positive attitude, more than your talent or expertise, will determine your impact.
Positive people inspire and influence others. If you want to help others be great, you have to demonstrate a positive attitude. Your ability to be joyful, hopeful, and resilient will inspire others like nothing else.
2. Positive attitude is not believing everything is okay; it's believing everything is going to be okay.
Positive people find the silver lining in the most difficult of circumstances. They learn from difficulties. They don't pretend everything is okay. That's not positive thinking. That's denial. Positive people just believe that things can get better. They expect things to get better. And they believe they might just learn something from the difficulty along the way.
3. Positive attitude is not feeling happy all the time.
Even people who are positive feel negative emotions like sadness, disappointment, and regret. But these feelings do not overwhelm them, partly because they are able to also feel positive emotions simultaneously. For example, perhaps at the same moment they grieve for a loss, they are also thankful for the blessing they had for a time. Even when things are at their worst, positive people view negative feelings as temporary and expect their emotional well-being to improve.
4. When you bring positive energy to a space, negativity leaves.
Negative energy can create a toxic culture and spread throughout your school. It's so important to create and nurture a positive environment to keep the negativity out. Scientists have found that people's brain patterns actually start to align as they spend time together. Attitudes are literally contagious it seems.
5. It takes at least 4 positive experiences to overcome a negative one.
I'm not sure this number is actually correct. But I do know we need to relish the positive moments and use them to overcome the setbacks and difficulties we face. It you do 20 things right today but make one mistake, you will be tempted to ignore all of those positives and focus only on your mistake. It takes deliberate celebration of the positives to help overcome the negatives. Relish those positive moments.
6. Sharing gratitude grows your positive reserves.
When you focus on the positive experiences in your day and share those with others, it makes you stronger and helps others too. We often start our meetings just by sharing the good things that are happening. What are three things you're thankful for in the last 24 hours? Who are you thankful for? If you want more energy and enthusiasm, focus on showing appreciation. Lift up others, and you'll be lifted up too.
7. Positive people are problem solvers.
They don't make excuses. They find solutions. When you are negative, you see only problems. In fact, negative people seem to find a problem for every solution. But positive people can open their minds more possibilities. They can see possible solutions that others might miss.
8. Positive people are playful.
"Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying." I remember these words from my childhood. My mom would say it after making fun of some unfortunate circumstance. It was a way of coping, and I'm thankful we had permission to see the humor in little misfortunes. Positive people don't take themselves too seriously, and they are eager to have fun while getting the job done.
9. Resilience is built on positive thinking.
Positive thoughts give you power over your circumstances. Don't let negative thinking give your circumstances power over you. Reality does not shape you. The lens through which you view reality is what actually shapes you. Make that a positive lens. Some of the happiest people in the world have very little of what this world has to offer. But they view the world through a positive lens and make the most of whatever they have.
10. Positive people are happier, more creative, more productive, and have more energy.
We often think hard work leads to success. We just need to work harder, try harder, be more committed, sacrifice more and then we'll be happy. But that's never enough. Turns out, it's better to start with being happy and then let that drive your productivity, creativity, and success. This amazing TED Talk makes the case much better than I can.
What is your best tip for keeping a positive attitude? Share it with us all so we can learn from you. Leave a comment below or respond on Facebook or Twitter.
One of the books I recently finished reading was No Limits: Blow the CAP off your capacity by John Maxwell. Maxwell shares the perspective of his friend Paul Martinelli and how he has pursued continual improvement:
We have three options in life. We can be historians, reporters, or futurists. The historian wants to remind us of everything in the past and wants to filter everything in the future through that. The reporter is really attached to the conditions and circumstances of today, and that's just the way it is. The futurist focuses on what hasn't yet been done. He says, "There is more for us to do. We can do more. We can broaden our capacity. There is more of our potential we can take advantage of."
Although this idea is aimed at growing oneself and reaching your personal potential, I thought it could be applied to education as well. In school life, where do you see yourself? How does this analogy work for educators?
The historian probably complains about kids these day, remembers fondly the past as if everything in the good ole days was problem free. The historian holds onto yesterday and doesn't see much potential in tomorrow. He sees anything new as something "we already do" or that "we tried and it didn't work." There are few new possibilities worth considering. If only we could return to a time when life was good. In my experience, the historian will blame students, parents, policymakers, or just about anyone else for the problems of today. He will overestimate the accomplishments of the previous generation while underestimating the potential in the next generation.
The reporter is working tirelessly to respond to the mandates and initiatives of today. They have their heads down with their noses to the grindstone. Sometimes they forget their larger purpose or mission, but they are busy collecting data, chasing test scores, and responding to whatever urgent needs arise. They are expending tremendous energy, but there is no long term perspective. The reporter will often burn out, feeling like they are on a hamster wheel going nowhere. It's hard not to feel bitter when you play by the rules and do what you're told, but the rules keep changing or your work is never considered good enough. The reporter doesn't dare dream of a better way or a brighter tomorrow. They are just trying to cope with the realities and do what they can to survive.
The futurist always has the long term perspective. There is a great sense of mission and purpose in how amazing school could be and how important this work is for students. There is a desire to create positive change. To be a difference maker. To prepare kids for their future and not our past. They want to push forward into new territory, take risks, and do whatever it takes to create a better learning experience for students. They see what could be possible, and they work to make it reality. They invest their energy not only in the routine work of today but also in changing the trajectory of tomorrow.
If you are a historian, you might need to find a different profession. Sorry if that offends you, but I think it's true. If you're a reporter, I invite you to become not only a doer but also a dreamer. And if you're a futurist, keep being a positive change maker. Share your passion and your vision and take steps each day to make education stronger for students.
What are your thoughts on this analogy? How would you add to it? How would you critique it? Leave a comment below or respond on Facebook or Twitter.
