What Would Happen If You Weren't Successful On This Thing?

Here's a reflective question to ask yourself when you're making decisions about your priorities:

What would happen if you weren't successful on this one thing?

What would be the ramifications? What would be the price to pay? What would be the cost if this thing did not happen? What would happen if success in this area isn't made a priority? What would we stand to lose? How would it impact the student, the community, or the world? 

Some things are absolutely essential and some things are nice to see happen and some things really aren't that important at all. Life's all about priorities. But how often do we just go with the priorities of what's been done in the past? 

How often do we accept the priorities of others without even considering if they are best for kids? How often do we push back against the priorities of the status quo because we know we can do better?

There isn't enough time, energy, or resources to make everything a priority. We have to make good choices about what's most important and how to apply our energy and effort. We have to establish the priorities that make the biggest difference.

Here are a few examples of my thinking as I work through this thought experiment...

1. What would happen if I didn't develop the strongest relationships possible with my students?

I would risk losing the learner entirely. They might just check out and not follow my lead on anything. There's greater chance of behavior problems, attitude problems, parent problems, and more. If the relationship is toxic, nothing I do will be good enough, interesting enough, or important enough. It's impossible to have extraordinary learning experiences with mediocre relationships.

2. What would happen if students dreaded coming to our school or my classroom every day?

If students hate school, we know they're going to be disengaged, distracted, and probably agitated. None of those are good conditions for learning. We can wish they would change and magically love school. Or we can change the school and find ways to reduce the friction. What if we made it harder for kids to hate school? What if we created a place where kids who hate (traditional) school love to learn?

3. What would happen if students didn't get chances to lead and make decisions in this school?

If they don't have chances to lead and make decisions now, they won't be ready to lead and make decisions later. They won't have opportunities to practice and they won't be primed for leadership and decision making beyond school. Kids need practice leading and making decisions about their learning. They need agency just as much, if not more, than they need achievement. If I simply learn, I will probably forget. But if I have a strong enough learning identity, there is nothing I can't learn eventually.

4. What would happen if students didn't master every standard in this school?

They might not score as well as others on standardized tests. They might have some gaps in their learning. They might have to learn some things down the road if they're faced with situations where they aren't fully prepared. But is that really the worst thing? Is standards mastery the key to future success? I don't think it is.

5. What would happen if students didn't learn soft skills or develop good character in this school?

I'll answer this question with another question. Would you prefer to have a neighbor that is a caring person or one who has outstanding academic skills? Of course, having both would be great. If you needed help with some complex math problems, they'd be able to help you and care enough about you to be willing to help you. But if you had to make a choice? I'm picking soft skills and character every time.

So what other questions might you ask to test your priorities and your school's priorities? If we didn't do this thing, what would happen? Pour your energy into the things that you know count the most. We get most of our results out of a small portion of our effort. We accomplish 80% of our results with just 20% of our effort. The rest of our effort is lost compared to that 20%. If we can learn to apply effort more efficiently, our overall capacity would greatly increase.

Let me know what you think about this thought experiment. Is what you're doing today moving your students closer to what you want for them tomorrow? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

11 Helpful Phrases for Disarming Conflict

It's inevitable. Sooner or later there will be conflict. People will have differences. Disagreements will erupt. Mistakes will be made. Stuff happens.

But we can sharpen our skills to be ready when unhealthy conflict begins to rise. And we can use our tools to keep dialogue open and productive. Disagreements don't have to turn destructive. 

A difference of opinion doesn't haven't to escalate into a damaged relationship. The phrases I share below have worked well for me, for the most part. Tone of voice and body language are critically important too.

It doesn't matter if the conflict is with a student, a colleague, or a parent, it's so important to listen carefully and let the other person know you are listening carefully. 

Listen carefully and practice empathy. Try to fully understand where the other person is coming from.

Here are 11 phrases that might be helpful...

1. "Let's work together to solve this."

All of the problem-solving to address an issue shouldn't come from one side or the other. It's not me vs. you. It's us vs. the problem.

2. "I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let's look at the facts."

Our natural tendency is to become defensive when someone challenges us. Take a tentative stance at the start. That shows you're open to listening.

3. "If I'm wrong I want to correct it and make it right. I may be in error."

If you start to defend your position right away you set yourself in opposition to the other side. When we set ourselves in opposition to another, it's their instinct to cling to their ideas and defend them whether there is truly any merit to them or not.

4. "Let me see if I got that."

Or "Let me see if I understand you correctly?" Listen actively. Acknowledge what the other person is saying. Instead of defending or explaining, start by paraphrasing. Repeat what they've said to ensure that you're getting the right meaning. Ask clarifying questions. It makes the other person feel heard. It shows you are listening.

5. "What's your biggest concern?"

Sometimes when people get upset they vent about all sorts of things that may be related and may not be related. This question helps focus on what the real issue is.

6. "How are you feeling about that?"

Again this question is acknowledging that there are strong feelings as a result of the situation. It's good to validate the feelings someone is having. It doesn't mean you agree with what needs to happen, but you are trying to understand how they feel. 

7. "What would you like to see happen? What would make you happy?"

Sometimes when I ask this question after I've listened carefully for a time, the person will say they don't really want anything to happen. They just wanted to express their frustration. And sometimes there are specific requests. This question get possible next steps out on the table. 

8. "Is it possible that we could...?"

Or "What if..." Help introduce new possibilities to the situation. In emotionally charged situations, people often get locked into seeing things from only one perspective. We're looking for a creative solution that is win/win.

9. "I'm willing to discuss this as long as needed until we're both satisfied how it's resolved."

I love to say this when I can tell things are really heated. It immediately says to the other person that I'm not going to be your opponent in this discussion. I'm not going to allow this to be an argument. It almost always diffuses the situation.

10. "Let me think about this some more. Let's try again later."

Sometimes, even when I've tried to maintain dialogue and approach the problem with as much diplomacy as possible, we still can't seem to either deescalate or find acceptable solutions. Then it's time to say let's both think about it some more and try again later.

11. "Do you feel like the situation's been handled fairly?"

It's very rewarding when a conversation that could be angry and awful ends up being successful. It actually builds a stronger relationship. Conflict can make us stronger. Sometimes I will even ask if the other person feels it's been handled fairly. If they can't say yes, then maybe we need to talk some more.

Don't allow yourself to become an opponent in the conversation. If people sense that you are defensive, they will set themselves in opposition to you. They will cling to their ideas and defend them no matter what. Even if there isn't merit to the concern, they will fight for their point of view. They won't care about what's right. They'll only care about being right. They'll defend the most ridiculous claims and blunders simply because they view you as an opponent.

And conversely, if you truly listen and avoid becoming an opponent, people are far more likely to admit errors of their own. If they are handled gently and respectfully, they will be more open to listening to your perspective too. But make sure they've had plenty of opportunities to be heard before you expect them to hear your point of view.

Do you have other ideas for disarming conflict? What's been your experience with handling conflict successfully? I'd like to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

7 Unexpected Benefits of Curiosity

Curiosity might be good for you, and good for your students too, in ways you haven't considered. One of our core values in our school is "start with questions." We want our students to be more curious tomorrow than they are today. We want to design learning that develops curiosity. We believe in the benefits of curiosity. In fact, curiosity has been shown to contribute to academic success as much as hard work or intelligence. 

But curiosity has many benefits beyond academic success. When we are curious in a whole variety of situations, we can better come to terms with who we are, how we fit into the world, and how we can make an impact on the world around us.

So here are 7 ways curiosity can be beneficial beyond academic success...

1.  Curiosity About Feelings

We are seeing unprecedented levels of anxiety and depression among young people. But mindfulness principles are effective in addressing thoughts and feelings by leveraging curiosity, instead of angst or avoidance. Be curious about feelings in a nonjudgmental way. Recognize that feelings come and go and are neither inherently good or bad. Approach feelings with a sense of wonder, "I'm curious about why I'm feeling this way." Be curious, not furious.

2. Curiosity About Relationships

Relationships grow stronger when we show empathy. And it's necessary to be curious to develop empathy. You have to be curious about what the other person is experiencing. You have to put yourself in their shoes. When we are curious about others, it also makes them feel valued, listened to, and understood. Curiosity says, "I want to know more about you. You matter. You're interesting to me."

3. Curiosity About Perspectives

Our perspective shapes our mindset. We can view failure as something negative, or we can view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Everything that happens to me can be useful to me and for my benefit. But that requires me to be curious to consider how I might reframe in a positive way things that on the surface seem to be hardships or difficulties.

4. Curiosity About Habits

After reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, I became far more curious about my habits and the habits that are common in our school. We want to create an extraordinary greeting for our students, every morning and each class period of the day. We want to make that a habit. I also want to examine my personal habits with curiosity, "Is this habit taking me where I want to go? Is this habit consistent with the path I want to be on?" Let's be curious about the habits we have in the classroom and how they impact learning.

5. Curiosity About Risk Taking

What would you do if you had no fear? What do you fear? And why do you fear these things? What is holding you back? We need to be curious about these questions and why we aren't willing to embrace positive risk taking. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We cannot know what we are truly capable of accomplishing if we aren't willing to push outside our comfort zone and take risks.

6. Curiosity About How Things Work

Have you ever wondered how electricity works? Or magnets? Or gravity? Science can explain these phenomenon, at least to an extent. But they also maintain a mysterious quality. They make me curious. But as a leader, I'm also curious about what makes our school culture work the way it does. I'm curious about how student's motivation works. And I'm curious about how to facilitate positive change. There are so many examples of being curious about how things work. And sometimes, this curiosity leads to innovations and breakthroughs that make life better for everyone.

7. Curiosity About the Future

I'm curious about the future. I'm curious about what life will be like for my own kids and for my students. And, I'm curious about what educators need to be doing today to prepare students for their futures. When we are curious about the future, it helps us be more diligent in our decisions today. The choices we make today will shape the future. But we have to be curious and consider how today's decisions might lead to future challenges or opportunities. Acting today with little thought for tomorrow is unlikely to end well. A long term perspective is needed to prepare for an uncertain future. Be curious about the future.

Can you think of any other unexpected benefits of curiosity? Is you school consistently making efforts to bring out curiosity in students? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

What's Most Valuable? Creativity, Empathy, or Technology

In a world that is more complex and uncertain than ever before, what is most valuable? Creativity, Empathy, or Technology.

You might argue it's technology. After all, everything that can be digitized is being digitized. Over the last 20 years, we've seen changes that are unprecedented. The Internet has changed how we live, work, play, and interact. Social media has exploded. Nearly every person on the planet, it seems, has an Internet connected mobile phone. We can literally stay connected every minute of every day. Self-driving cars are a reality. We have the Internet of things, big data, robotics, artificial intelligence. Digital is how the world is changing.

Fewer people are creating a larger portion of global wealth today. It takes fewer and fewer people to produce more and more. The innovation economy is already here, but it's accelerating. Digital is going to continue to drive change. 

And change will happen even faster.

And yet, the things that are becoming more valuable for the future are the things that cannot be digitized or automated. Traits that are human-only will become more and more valuable. Traits like creativity and empathy.

Creativity is thinking in novel ways. It's solving problems. It's developing new ideas, finding better opportunities, and combining old things to create new possibilities. 

Empathy is the ability to understand, connect, and see the world through other people's eyes. It's moving closer to people. It's having social skills to communicate, accept differences, and find common ground.

In order to adapt in this rapidly changing world, we must embrace technology. It's important. 

But more importantly, our students will need to develop creativity and empathy. It's not about what you know. It's about what you can do with what you know. Can you work with people? Can you add value to people? Can you create something new and interesting?

These disruptive trends show no signs of slowing. But are schools keeping up? I don't think so. Things are moving so fast, it's hard to keep up, even for the schools that embrace change. 

Creativity and empathy are not considered the core work in most schools. They are extras, add-ons, and enrichment programs. But I think we have it flipped. Start with creativity and empathy and use those to propel learning of content and academic skills. 

It's very different than the type of learning I had when I was in school. We plowed through content and curriculum and produced right answers year after year. We jumped through all the hoops as instructed but probably didn't learn how to take much initiative. 

And that worked okay in a world where a high school diploma could get you a job, maybe even a career. And a college degree almost assured you a privileged place in society. Those days are gone.

We cannot afford to prepare students for the world we grew up in. We must prepare them for the world they'll live in.

How do you see the role of creativity, empathy, and technology in the future? What will our students need to thrive? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Every Interaction Is an Opportunity for Relationship Building

I met John Norlin this summer at the National Principals Conference and knew right away I wanted to learn more about his story and his work as co-founder of CharacterStrong. One thing led to another and luckily we were able to have him present to our staff earlier this week.

It was awesome. Many of the ideas he shared are reminders. He pointed this out more than once. These aren't new ideas. 

"I'm not here to inform you today as much as I'm here to remind you," he said.

We all know how important relationships are. We know how important it is to develop character. We all know academic skills won't take you very far unless you can also work effectively with people. We know kindness counts. 

But even when we know these things, we can get better at doing these things. We can become better people. And we can help our students become better people too. But we have to be intentional. We have to work at it. We have to develop our own habits. And it's hard work. 

It doesn't even necessarily take more time. But it does require us to use the time we have in very intentional ways. 

The reminders John shared are very important reminders. He shared the message in a way that inspired us and helped our staff build even stronger connections. I think we left more excited about our work and more committed to our students. I think we left more committed to each other too.

Here are a few reminders that stood out to me...

-Everyone NEEDS character development. All of us.

-We are built to be relational. Stronger relationships help build a stronger school and better learning.

-We need purpose more than we need happiness. Most are trying to be happy, but deeply fulfilled people know their purpose. 

-Students need a deeper why. So many don't know their purpose and how school fits with that purpose.

-Many of our students need hope. In truth, we all need hope and we need to be hope for each other.

-Our school culture is built on behaviors. Character is revealed by behaviors. We make thousands of choices daily. How are your choices contributing to the culture of your school?

-Such an important question: What have you done for others today?

In Future Driven, I wrote about my efforts to greet students each morning. I had always tried to be visible and friendly as students arrived to school in the morning. But then I decided to be more intentional. I made sure I was at the door to welcome as many students as possible, to learn as many names as possible, to make the greeting as extraordinary as possible. 

When I became more intentional, I noticed all sorts of cool things started happening. Like this...

One day I had some help with my greeting routine. One of our students, Nathaniel, was already at the bus drop off door. He was holding it open. I didn’t think too much of it, but then he started showing up every day. He’s always there now ready to help, even before I arrive. He’s quiet, so he doesn’t say much to the other kids as they come in, but many of the other students will tell him thank you as they walk by.

And I’ve gotten to know Nathaniel a little. He is passionate about professional wrestling. He looks forward to watching it on TV each week, and he asks me if I watched it too. I asked him if he knew about Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant, wrestling heroes from when I was a kid. He just grinned and said he heard of them. I also learned a little about his family, where he lives, and some of his favorite things. I even learned we have 22 buses that drop off students in the morning because Nathaniel counted them for me.

Isn’t it amazing the impact our small actions can make? Just showing up in the morning to greet kids inspired Nathaniel to do the same. Our investment in people has a way of multiplying. Nathaniel wanted to help out. I think he feels good about holding the door open in the morning. I know I feel better each day I get to see Nathaniel and hang out with him for a few minutes. We never know when a simple conversation with a student might spark something lasting and worthwhile. Every interaction is an opportunity for relationship building.

Nathaniel was part of the Class of 2018. As graduation approached this past May, he asked me over and over, "Who are you going to get to replace me when I graduate?

He had faithfully met me at the door each morning and now as he was about to leave our school, he was concerned about who was going to do his job. He had purpose. He was selfless. He was kind.

I told Nathaniel he would be really hard to replace. I asked if he had any suggestions for who could took his place. We talked about a couple of kids he thought might work out. 

And then a few days later he walked across the stage and was awarded his diploma. When I shook his hand, he smiled and said, "Who are you going to find to replace me?"

I was proud of him.

A few weeks ago, one of our teachers came into my office and shared that Nathaniel was very sick and in the hospital. A couple days later I went to the hospital but couldn't see him because of the limited visiting hours in intensive care.

And then on Friday morning, September 28th we got the news that Nathaniel had passed away. It was crushing news. It still hurts as I'm writing this post.

But I'm so grateful that my story intersects with Nathaniel's story. I'm thankful I can share about our time together. I'm thankful I can share about a student who had purpose, who was selfless, and who was kind to others.

He wasn't worried about being popular, or cool, or a big deal. He just wanted to make a difference. 

I can't even imagine the kind of greeting Nathaniel received in heaven. He certainly deserves the best. He might even get a job holding a door open for others arriving on the scene. 

For those of us still doing our best here on planet earth, we need reminders. Let's not forget every interaction is an opportunity for relationship building.

When Student Behavior Is Like Looking in the Mirror

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about negative student behaviors and how we respond effectively. 

Here are five ideas that have been on my mind...

1. Judge behaviors, not intentions.

It can be really easy to become judgmental about negative student behavior, especially when it's repetitive. It's always appropriate to be corrective about non-learning behaviors, but it isn't right to place ourselves in a position of greater worth than the student. We might think, I would never do that. It's like we think we're superior in some way. And then we make generalizations about their motives based on the behavior. We act as if we know what's going on in the student's heart. 

That's the type of judgment that causes resentment and steals dignity. Judgement isn't always a bad thing. We actually know having good judgement is a good thing. That's how we know when something is right or wrong. But relationships get crazy when we start to judge motives. That's not ours to judge. Judge behaviors. They are observable and there are standards that must be held. Don't judge intentions. We can never know another person's heart.

2. We make mistakes too, just like our students.

Every negative behavior a student exhibits is probably closely resembling a negative behavior I've exhibited in my own life at one time or another. If I'm really honest with myself, it's probably like I'm looking in the mirror. I may not have done that exact thing to the degree that it was done, but I've struggled with that issue at some point and acted in a similar manner. There are only so many categories of mistakes, and I'm pretty sure I've covered them all at one time or another.

3. Correct the issue and preserve the relationship.

Number two is really important because it reminds me to have empathy, to be understanding, and to work with a student through the issue instead of towering over them and being iron-fisted about the issue. We want to correct the issue and preserve the relationship. We need to walk through this with the student.

4. Are there certain student behaviors that really push my buttons more than others?

The things that push my buttons the most might be the things that I actually struggle with the most. It's ironic, but often we are less forgiving and less patient with the behaviors that are most like the ones we struggle with. Think about an issue that is a struggle for you. Are you especially hard on students when they make a mistake in this area? Maybe not if they make the mistake in the same way you do. But if they make it in a different way or to a greater degree, look out. It might push all your buttons.

5. Change the environment to help the child change his or her own behavior.

When students show up poorly and have behaviors that are destructive, I need to also look at the environmental factors at play. If I was in the same environment as the student, might I also act in this way? What can be changed about the environment to help the student make different choices? That does not relieve the student of responsibility or accountability for bad decisions, but I don't want to just enforce accountability. I want to help create conditions so the student will succeed next time.

I think we could all stand to be a little more patient with our students. Heck, sometimes we need to be a little more patient with ourselves too. Mistakes are opportunities to learn more about who we are and to reflect and become stronger, more caring people overall.

I would love to hear your thoughts as always. What's on your mind after reading this post? Leave a comment below or respond on or .

What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

When you think about your students, what stories are you telling yourself about them? I've been guilty of buying into limiting stories about who they are, where they come from, or what they're capable of.

Of course, I care about all of our kids and strive to treat them all with dignity and respect. But it's easy to see them a certain way if I'm not careful. It's easy to make judgments. There are subtle thoughts and feelings. I might believe a story that casts some as most likely to succeed and others as at-risk or some other label.

It's almost effortless to impose our stories on them or accept the limiting stories others believe about them without a question.

They don't have a chance.

They're victims of their environment.

They don't have the right parents, the right influences, the right resources. 

They have an IEP. 

They're low functioning.

They're a behavior problem.

They're lazy.

They don't care about school.

They'll never make it in college.

We can easily make all kinds of assumptions even without thinking. 

I've seen on Twitter recently the idea that we shouldn't judge a student by the chapter of their story we walk in on. That is a powerful thought. So true! We all know people who've had difficult back stories who were probably judged as incapable or unlikely to succeed.

And yet, they made it.

Some famous examples include Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, Walt Disney, Abraham Lincoln and many others. Not only did they make, they became world changers.

I'm gonna try harder to never tell myself a story about a kid that says they can't because of where they live, what kind of home they come from, the trauma they've experienced, or anything else that limits their possibilities.

Things that have been true in the past don't have to be true for the future. Alan Cohen writes "our history is not our destiny."

As educators, we cannot buy into the idea that because a kid comes from the wrong side of the tracks, lacks resources, or has a difficult home environment they have limited capacity.

As I wrote in Future Driven, 

Treat all of your students like future world changers. I know there are some who are difficult, disrespectful, and disengaged. But don't let that place limits on what they might accomplish someday. Believe in their possibilities and build on their strengths.

Kids can overcome any obstacle placed in their way. Don't believe it? How can you know what might be possible with effort, enthusiasm, and continuous learning? 

And when no one else in the world is seeing a kid for the genius of what's inside them, it's time for educators to step up and be the ones who find that spark. 

No limits. No excuses.

What story are you telling yourself? What story are you believing about yourself? What story are you believing about your students?

The culture on the inside of your school must be stronger than the culture on the outside. There are so many outside voices telling kids what they can't do, and it's no wonder that kids start to believe it.

Every school needs every adult who works there to believe in the possibilities of their students, who will push them to greatness every day, who show them how to reach higher and go further. They may have limits crashing down on them from the external realities they live with, but we can help unleash the greatness they have within them. We can help them overcome and break through the limits.

What are specific ways we can help students realize they have greatness within? How can we unleash the potential they have to pursue their unlimited capacity? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

5 Tips for Building Great Relationships with Students

Relationships are essential to learning. Kids connect more to learning when they feel more connection to their teacher. A great classroom environment begins by building great relationships. 

So how do you build great relationships with your students? Here are 5 tips I promise will make your relationships stronger. 

What if everyone in your school tried to get a little better at these five things every day? Wow! That would be an amazing school culture.

1. Connect with your students.

Learn your students' names...on the first day. Greet them at the door. Make eye contact. Smile. Ask them questions. Ask them their opinion about a movie or type of music or your teaching. Joke with them. Offer fist bumps and high fives. Know at least two things about each student that have nothing to do with school. 

2. Invest in your students.

Believe in your students. Look for opportunities to affirm their strengths. Build them up. Show your approval. You will have far more influence if they know you're in their corner. Plant seeds in their mind of the great things they will do in their future. Treat them like future world changers. "You're going places. You're going to do great things." Then point out how their incredible strengths will take them far.

3. Personalize learning for your students.

Meet students where they are. Get to know their passions and look for opportunities to connect learning to those interests. Provide experiences that allow individual strengths and personality to shine. Place responsibility on your students and let them know you trust them. Never teach down to your students. Teach them in ways that empower them as learners. 

• How often do your students have input on how they will learn?
• How often do your students have input on what they will learn?
• Are your students given opportunities to lead conversations?
• Are your classroom goals developed by the teacher alone or in partnership with students?
• Do your students have some time to pursue their own goals?
• How often do you ask your students for feedback on their experience in your classroom?

4. Give time and attention to your students.

Notice when a student is having a bad day. Offer encouragement. Make eye contact. Stop and really listen. There are so many people and things clamoring for your attention. To give your attention to something is an amazing gift. Too often we make our plans a higher priority than our purpose. Our purpose might be to connect with our students, but what about our plans for today? Can we let go of those for a couple of minutes?

You can also give time and attention by making that positive phone call home, writing that note of encouragement, or attending that ballgame or concert after school.

5. Forgive your students.

Every kid deserves a fresh start in your classroom every day. Time spent holding onto yesterday means less time moving forward today. Forgiveness protects the relationship. It allows you to set aside those frustrating moments with a kid and believe today can be better. It's part of being able to enjoy your students...all of them. They're kids and they're not always going to show up well in your classroom. If you enjoy them and take delight in them, even with their imperfections, you'll feel better about yourself and enjoy teaching far more.

I think we can all continue to grow in our ability to build stronger relationships. What ideas do you have for building relationships in your classroom or school? How will you grow stronger in this area? Leave a comment below or respond on or . I look forward to hearing from you.

Don't Ask For More Until You're Willing to Risk More

Strong leaders have strong visions for their schools. They feel a constant tension between how things are and how they could be. And leaders want to see progress toward the vision. And progress toward the vision is great, but it comes at a cost if leaders aren't careful.

People must never feel diminished at the expense of the vision.

I would challenge leaders to consider this question. Why do you provide learning opportunities for your teachers? I'm guessing the most common answer would be it's for the kids and their learning. 

That's a noble goal, right?

It's to help teachers be better so kids can learn more too. It's to move the school forward toward the vision. We have important work to do to be the best we can be, so the kids can be the best they can be.

But here's the translation for many teachers: My current work is not appreciated here. It's never good enough. You're always trying to squeeze more out of me. I'm doing all I can and now you're adding to my plate. My work is not valued here. I feel like I'm being pushed in directions I don't even know if I want to go.

But what if we approached professional learning from a different perspective? What if school leadership focused more on serving teachers and meeting their needs? What if professional learning was more about growing the teacher and not about better test scores or some other outcome?

Let's create a culture of professional learning that values teachers. Let's start with this idea. We want to provide experiences that help teachers get the most out of their work. We want to provide experiences that help you achieve your greatest fulfillment as a teacher. 

We want to provide experiences that offer the highest return on your investment as an educator. 

That's servant leadership. Helping others make a greater impact and find more fulfillment in what they are doing. It's not about squeezing more out of the individual for the sake of the school, the test scores, or even for the kids. It's not about winning at the SMART goals game.

But those things will probably improve too as teachers feel more appreciated, find more fulfillment, and sense they are getting a higher return on their investment as an educator.

There's nothing wrong with leaders asking more of the people they lead. That's what good leaders do. They challenge people to grow their capacity and to use their capacity to the fullest.

But start with why. Reflect on your own motives. Why are you asking more? It has to be to care for your team. Love your team. It has to be for the benefit of each individual first. Help them reach their goals. Help them feel a greater sense of accomplishment. Give them a sense of their own talent, progress, and strengths.

The best leaders are constantly affirming the work that is being done. They are recognizing the strengths and contributions of each team member. The vision is realized as a result of valuing people, encouraging them, and supporting them all along the way.

Leaders: When we ask teachers to risk more and to give more, are we also giving more and risking more for teachers?

The vision for your school is important, but the vision is meaningless if performance is more important than people.

What are some ways you are risking more for you colleagues, caring for them, and increasing the return on investment for others? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

20 Ways to Be Future Driven in Your Classroom

Reflection is so important for continued learning and growth. I developed the list below as a tool for educators to reflect on practices that help prepare students for a rapidly changing, complex world. Some of these practices are new. Some are not. Some of them involve technology. Some do not. 

These are all based on important themes from my book, Future Driven. These factors help prepare students for a modern world where continuous learning and adaptability are paramount.

I don't think I would expect any educator to be pursuing all of these indicators at once. And this list should never be used to think in terms of judging a good teacher vs. a bad teacher. So don't look at it like that. The purpose of the list is for reflection and growth.

It might give you an idea of where you want to focus your learning for next school year. You could pick one or two and consider how you might develop the practice in your classroom. It might help you consider your next steps in your growth as an educator.

20 Ways to be Future Driven in Your Classroom

1. I provide opportunities for project-based and inquiry-based learning.

2. I give students choices about learning (time, place, path, or pace).

3. I am learning new things about technology and sharing my learning with students and teachers.

4. My students have opportunities to connect with real-world experts.

5. My classroom learning space provides flexibility for student-centered grouping and learning tasks.

6. My students regularly have opportunities to use digital tools to leverage their skills for learning tasks.

7. I utilize Genius Hour or 20 percent time to provide opportunities for students to pursue their passions and interests.

8. I model risk-taking, grit, and perseverance for students and regularly discuss the importance of these characteristics in class.

9. I build strong relationships by greeting students, calling them by name, and getting to know them as individuals.

10. My students assume considerable responsibility for class discussions. Conversations become student-led, instead of teacher-directed.

11. My students take on projects that make a difference in the community or in the world (service-learning).

12. My students have many opportunities to create work that will be visible to authentic audiences.

13. I am intentional about cultivating curiosity in my students by having them develop their own questions, by allowing exploration, or by creating mystery or intrigue.

14. I ask my students for feedback on my teaching and the relevance of my lessons.

15. Empathy is just as important as responsibility in my classroom.

16. I am focused more on what a child can do and not what he/she cannot do.

17. I think about how the future will be different for my students and strive to teach with that in mind.

18. My students have opportunities to experiment with different approaches, rather than just practicing a predetermined method.

19. Character is more important than compliance in my classroom.

20. My students have many chances to take initiative, not just follow directions.

What other practices do you think are important for relevant, future ready learning? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Is Positivity an Excuse for Silencing Opposing Viewpoints?

There's been some push back recently on Twitter against the whole idea of positive attitude as a good thing. It gave me some things to think about, because in general, I've found a positive mindset to be a source of strength in my life. I've even written several posts about positive thinking, including this one:

10 Thoughts On Positive Attitude to Share With Your Team

A positive school is built on positive moments. It doesn't just happen by accident. Every interaction counts. It takes a concerted effort on the part of everyone to create an environment that is awesome. So what are some things everyone should know to be more positive in their own mindset and help contribute to that positive environment we all want?

How could someone not be in favor of having a positive outlook? I was curious and a little puzzled by some of the responses I've seen to the idea of having a positive attitude. I wanted to know more.

So here are some of the arguments I've seen. Keep in mind I'm doing my best to synthesize, so if you're in the anti-positive thinking camp, let me know if I'm missing the point.

1. Calls for a positive attitude are one way the dominant culture silences critics and those with opposing viewpoints. By asking me to have a positive attitude, you are refusing to acknowledge my experience and my suffering. I'm not allowed to speak my mind or share my experience without being labeled a negative person.

2. Positive thinking is not the solution to mental health issues. To the contrary, it's part of the mental health crisis. It's no longer okay to feel negative emotions like sadness, fear, isolation, hopelessness, or anger. If you feel those emotions, you're not being positive, and that's not okay.  The pressure to feel positive all the time is too much, and so when I don't, I feel further devalued and unable to measure up.

3. Sharing positive thoughts is empty of meaning. It's not doing the real work of challenging injustice or working to understand those who are oppressed or those who are suffering. Instead of sharing something "positive," share something that demands justice or calls out oppressive forces. In other words, raise some hell to demand change. That's doing something positive.

I think those are some really good reasons to push back against positive thinking, if you define and understand being positive in a certain way. I think there are some nuances to the idea of being positive that are important for the idea to work, otherwise it's just a thought that we should all be happy all the time, and that's just not helpful.

Here's how I would respond to the three concerns about positive thinking.

1. Being positive doesn't mean everyone has to be agreeable and have the same opinions. But it does mean we express our opinions in ways that are productive and helpful. In a school, leaders need to encourage productive conflict and invite critical dialogue. I want people around me to push my thinking and challenge my ideas. That's how we get better. 

But I'm guessing...in some cases, leaders are silencing voices who are simply expressing a different viewpoint and using positive attitude as the reason. Either you agree with me or you obviously don't have a positive attitude? It's one or the other. That type of thinking is not effective.

2. Being positive doesn't mean you're happy all the time. I think believing you should be happy all the time does result in complications to mental health. We need to feel all our feelings, the positive and negative ones. The truth is none of our feeling are truly negative. They're not bad. They're just feelings. They come and go. And as humans, all of them are legitimate. Being positive is the ability to experience the array of human emotions and respond to them in ways that are helpful. 

In response to every emotion, we have the choice in what we do with it. How do we hold that emotion in our mind and how do we think about it? Do we listen to what our emotions tell us and let them take us down whatever path they choose? Or, do we choose the path for our emotions? Do we point them in a direction we want them to go? We're not repressing them or denying them. It's important to fully acknowledge how we feel, but then choose to use that emotion as fuel to go in some positive direction in life. I'm going to use this pain or sorrow for good in this certain way.

Of course, this is always a process. There are times I do not handle my emotions in productive ways. And that results in strain on my relationships or sticky situations as a leader. I've often had to apologize for times I allowed my emotions to choose the path.

3. Sharing positive thoughts are empty of meaning if they are empty of meaning. But they don't have to be. In fact, the person who can communicate difficult, hard truths in a positive way is a wise person. There is wisdom and strength in communicating a difficult message in a way that doesn't offend or alienate. That's making an effort to have dialogue and not a shouting match. I see no benefit to a shouting match. Neither side is really listening. Nothing productive is resulting from this exchange.

And yet, that is how most people seem to be handling conversations these days in regard to our most pressing issues. It's evident all over social media. There is no dialogue. There is no civility. Each side hurls insults, snide remarks, insulting labels, and believes they have the moral high ground. Our way is the right way!!!

It makes me sad when I see educators fall into this same type of behavior. Unfortunately, I've noticed more destructive posts like this recently from educators. We have an obligation to set a good example for our students every day in our classrooms, and also on social media. We have an obligation to do our very best, all the time, to be respectful and positive with our words and actions.

At the same time, it's never okay to silence an opposing viewpoint on the grounds that the person needs to be positive. It's okay to ask someone to communicate respectfully. But it's not okay to silence someone who disagrees.

Let me know your thoughts on all of this. Leave a comment below or respond on or . I always enjoy hearing from you.

3 Reasons to Recognize Effort and Growth Over Achievement and Outcomes

As the school year winds down, what is your school doing to recognize students? It's really common at this time of year to have awards programs to celebrate students for success and achievement. A problem with these types of programs is they tend to only recognize a certain kind of student.

Praising compliance, outstanding grades, and high achievement may be motivating for some, but may also lead to disengagement, resentment, and alienation for others. What kind of success are we celebrating?

I don't want to send the message to our students that only a certain type of success or achievement is celebrated in our school. All of our students are valuable and make contributions in a variety of ways. 

And most importantly, I want to celebrate the process of growth and learning, and not just the outcomes. Students can't always control the end result, but they can control the controllables, things like effort, enthusiasm, empathy, energy, and work ethic. It's also important to recognize students for curiosity, creativity, and perseverance.

So we do our "awards" program differently.

Each teacher chooses one student to recognize at our end of school assembly. But the teacher selects the student based on whatever criteria they choose. It could be for effort, improvement, citizenship, school spirit, or just showing up well and having positive energy.




Some of the students who receive the award are the typical academic high flyers, but many are not. Many have probably never had their name called out in front of their peers, or their parents, to receive an award.

Each teacher says just a few words about why the student was selected. These stories are powerful for showing how we value students for more than just the grades they earn.

For some of our students, receiving an honor and affirmation like this could be pivotal. It could give them the spark of confidence and belief they needed at just the right time. It could inspire them to take on new challenges and set their sights higher.

Here are three reasons to recognize effort and growth over achievement and outcomes:

1. Avoid alienation.

By the time students arrive in high school, far too many believe the system of school won't work for them. They are checked out. And no wonder. They've seen a certain type of student celebrated. They've built their identity around not being like those students, because they can't measure up to those kids anyway, the ones who get all the awards. Personal growth isn't even on their radar, and they don't see that as the purpose of school anyway. To them, school expects quiet compliance, right answers, and perfect grades. That's how you measure up. Recognizing progress and growth levels the playing field for all students.

2. Reinforce healthy attitudes about success.

It's not healthy to get your sense of value or self-worth from achievements. For some, success is like a drug. They need more and more of it to get the same feeling. No matter how successful they are, in the end, it's never enough. They are dependent on success to feel good about themselves, to feel secure. Any mistake or failure is almost unbearable. They feel threatened when others do well. Some of the most high performing students in your school may not be well-adjusted in this sense. It's great to pursue excellence. But excellence is in the process of doing your very best, growing your strengths, and finding your purpose.

3. Encourage growth mindset.

A key finding of growth mindset was the recognition that praising effort was much more effective in motivating learning behaviors than praising fixed characteristics. The belief that I can grow my intelligence leads to better outcomes in the end. But the focus is on the process of growth, not the outcome. When we only recognize students for their achievements, we reinforce the fixed mindset. But when we recognize growth, we encourage all students to stretch themselves and strive to take on challenges. Success isn't as important as progress in this system. And failure is only a temporary setback that provides an opportunity to learn and grow.

How is your school recognizing and celebrating students? Are you encouraging effort and growth over achievement and outcomes? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on Facebook or Twitter.

Culture of Compliance or Culture of Character?

Someone with many years in education was visiting our building recently and commented, "I don't think I've ever seen a high school lunch period this quiet." 

I think they caught us on a good day. But it was a nice compliment.

I know our lunches aren't perfect. In fact, there were a few grapes flying around recently too. Kids will be kids, right? But I was a proud principal after hearing the visitor's perspective, because I think it is a small indicator of our culture.

I was speaking with another educator who shared, "At my previous school, we had to have supervision all across the lunch room to keep everyone's behavior in line." It sounded like they had a bunch of people on guard to make sure there weren't any problems.

It's possible to achieve good behaviors by "running a tight ship" or by being "heavy handed." There are lots of ways to influence behavior. And forcing compliance is one way to change behavior. Fear is a way to change behavior. Sticks and carrots are a way to change behavior. 

So don't mistake a culture of compliance for a culture of character. There's a difference in doing the rights things, and doing the right things for the right reasons.

What happens when the adults aren't watching? How will the students act in those situations? That's when character is revealed. We can keep our thumb on them to get what we want, but are we really helping them develop the decision-making and responsibility they need?

I want students to learn why character matters. 

I want them to show empathy.

I want them to be upstanders and not bystanders.

I want students to understand how they treat all people makes a difference. 

I want students to know it's important to be honest, with themselves and with others.

I want students to learn to admit mistakes and move past them in a positive way.

I want to see students take full responsibility.

Ultimately, my goal is to create an environment that brings out the best in our students. I want them to feel supported and valued. And I want them to know I have very high expectations for them, not because of what they do but because of who they are. I believe in you, want the best for you, and I'm here to support you. That's the message I want to send.

I think the traditional model of education has been very focused on compliance. In fact, compliance is often celebrated. I've had parents and teachers talk with admiration about teachers and administrators who ran classrooms and schools with an iron fist. They applaud the strict adherence to commands and rules. I have to admit that used to impress me too. 

But not anymore. I've come to realize that schools can be extremely orderly and run with precision and under the surface have a character deficit. I'm all for discipline, but I want to see that students are taking ownership for their behavior and can self-manage in positive ways. I want to see students empowered to do good and make a difference in the world. That won't happen in a culture of compliance. It will only happen in a culture of character.

Is any of this making sense? I want to hear from you. I'm convinced that teaching character and developing it in our schools is as important as ever. What do you think? Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Simple Advice: Enjoy the Kids

A substitute teacher in our building recently approached me about some problems she was having with student behavior. She detailed how she told the kids exactly what she expected and tried to enforce the rules, but they didn't respond well at all.

I got the impression she was trying the stern teacher approach.

She told me about one student in particular. And as she shared, I could see her demeanor immediately shift.

She was really upset. Her body language and facial expression showed she was really frustrated. I would go so far to say she was having a miserable experience.

And so I felt really bad for her in that. I don't want visitors to our building to ever have a bad experience. And being a substitute is not easy on a good day.

So I asked her a question, "Are you trying to enjoy the kids?"

She looked at me with a puzzled expression. I'm sure she was thinking how could I enjoy these kids when they're acting out and being uncooperative?

"What do you mean?" she said.

"Well, I've just found that I get a much better result in working with students when I make it a point to enjoy being with them. They don't always act just like I want, but I try to enjoy them anyway."

"But I'm trying to get them to follow the rules and do the work," she said.

"And that's a good thing. We expect students to follow rules and be productive and use time wisely. They do need accountability for that. But how you hold them accountable can make a big difference."

I encouraged her to leave some notes for the classroom teacher about the behavior problems, and asked her to give my advice a try the next time she had a chance.

A couple of weeks later she was back in the building, and she came rushing up to me. Her demeanor was completely different. She was smiling and full of energy.

"I tried what you said, and it worked so much better. It's like I'm not putting as much pressure on myself and the students are doing better too. I feel so relieved," she said.

I told her I was so happy to hear that, and I appreciated her giving my advice a try. I thanked her for sharing with me and for giving me an update.

The quickest way to change another person's behavior is to change your behavior towards them. Kids are going to make mistakes. But if you make it a point to enjoy being with them, and treat them with great respect and care, there is almost no mistake you can't correct. They'll be far more open to your feedback when they feel that you like them and enjoy them.

What are your thoughts on this advice? Are you enjoying the kids? How can you show delight in them and keep the classroom energy positive and productive? I want to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

The Power of Choosing 'Must' Instead of 'Rather'

Last night I watched the film, Lincoln, starring Daniel Day Lewis as the 16th U.S. President. It was great to finally see it. I'm kind of a history nerd, but for some reason I had never watched it before. It's an incredible film covering the final four months of Lincoln's life. Daniel Day Lewis is outstanding in his portrayal of the president.

As I watched, I noticed several times how Lincoln used the word must as he considered the decisions and actions he would take as the leader of a bitterly divided nation. He was a courageous leader who stood firmly on principles in the face of incredible opposition and obstacles.

I reflected on the difficult decisions he made. I'm sure there were times he would rather have taken an easier path. He faced hardships and failure throughout his life, and he could've veered off course, retreated, or just settled for the status quo. He probably didn't want to carry all of the heavy burdens of a Civil War, the bloodiest war in U.S. history. 

But he did carry those burdens and remained a steadfast leader. He stood firm. Because he felt a moral imperative. He felt he must. 

We are all faced with challenges as educators. We are often faced with choices about what we would rather do versus what we must do.

And while our decisions may not be described in history books, our work has great significance in the life of a child. We might be the best hope for some. We don't always know what might hang in the balance. We don't always know what difference we might make for this one child.

We usually have the opportunity to make the greatest difference when we choose must over rather.

I would rather not have that difficult conversation, but I must.

I would rather not have to learn something new, but I must.

I would rather not be creative today, but I must.

I would rather not call that parent, but I must.

I would rather not give that extra effort, but I must.

I would rather not be enthusiastic today, but I must.

I would rather not have to repair that relationship, but I must.

I would rather not consider another idea or perspective, but I must.

I would rather not give that kid a fresh start today, but I must.

I would rather not change my lesson, but I must.

I would rather not deal with new technology, but I must.

I would rather not overlook that offense, but I must.

Every day I see educators choosing must over rather. But we should always, always, always be asking, "What is best for kids?" 

In this situation, "Am I choosing must or rather?"

Do you ever struggle to choose must instead of rather? I think we all face that. Let me know what you think. Leave a comment below or respond on or .