The Facts and the Stories We Tell Ourselves Based on the Facts

I've been planning to write this post for the past two years. That's right. It's been that long. I'm not sure why I didn't write it sooner. But the events of this weekend swiftly and certainly moved these ideas off the sidelines.

Friday night we had home football. There is always some stress associated with each home game. Our admin team often jokes about how much easier the road games are. There are just so many things that can go wrong with large crowds. On top of that, I was at the end of a long week and physically tired. That's typical for Friday night, right?

So I noticed a Twitter post after halftime that tagged our school. I knew the individual who posted it and have a very good relationship with him, although we haven't interacted that often. 

But I quickly became offended by the post. How could this person publicly criticize the school? He should know better than that. He manages people and events and must understand the challenges that come with that. Social media is not the place to air your concerns, at least not initially. Come talk to me. Give me a chance to solve the problem.

So...

I quickly fired off a text message to the individual expressing my frustration and disappointment.

Then came the reply, "Should I delete it?"

"Well, of course you should," I thought.

I responded in another message ramping up my indignation.

And then when his next reply came, I got it. He clarified and all of the sudden, it was clear. It hit me all at once. It almost took the air out of me. He didn't mean it that way! I took it wrong!

In my haste, I completely misunderstood the comment. I missed it completely.

I went back and read it again. Any other person reading the Tweet would NOT have taken it the way I did. I had started climbing the assumption ladder and had gone straight to the top rung.

Time to own my mistake. My very embarrassing mistake.

I sent my apologies. I tried to explain. I told him he did nothing wrong. I should know better. It's totally on me. I'm sorry. I felt terrible.

Fortunately, the person on the other end was gracious in accepting my apology. Looking back, I can't even believe I made this mistake. I practice these skills every day. Not assuming. Trying to understand the other person's perspective. Not jumping to conclusions.

Retrieved: http://metothepowerofwe.com/me-to-the-power-of-we/assume-dangerous-act/

So how does this happen?

A couple of years ago I read the book Crucial Conversations. It is the best thing I've ever read about effective communication when the stakes are high, when there might be strong opposing thoughts or opinions.

One part in particular is so important for us in keeping conversations safe. We have to be careful about the stories we tell ourselves. Here are a few of the big ideas I took from the book.

Stories Cause Feelings

Someone else doesn't make you mad. You get angry because of the story you tell yourself. "I feel bad because of my story, not your actions." Emotions don't settle in like fog. Others don't make you mad. You make you mad. You tell yourself a story, and the story leads to the emotional response. Once these stories take hold, they have a life of their own.

Avoid Silence or Violence

To keep good dialogue, we have to keep safety in the conversation. If we lose safety, the conversation will turn to one or the other or both parties holding back and not being honest or lashing out and taking cheap shots. Neither silence nor violence is a healthy response. We want to develop shared meaning and be totally honest. We want to learn from the conversation, not be right or wrong.

Stories Are How We Explain Why, How, and What Is Happening To Us

So even when presented with exactly the same set of circumstances, we will determine if it is positive or negative based on the story we tell ourselves. Our story is how we attach significance to these events. We decide the level of significance based on the story we tell.

Many Possible Responses

For every set of circumstances, there is not just one way to respond. My emotions are NOT the only valid response. So just because such and such happens to me doesn't mean I have to respond in a certain way. There are many possible responses.

Slow Down

The thing that got me in trouble was how quickly I settled on the story in my mind based on the Tweet I was reading. I attached a certain meaning almost immediately. I didn't consider any other possibilities. Several things had happened earlier that primed me for this response, but no matter, I still wouldn't have failed in communicating if I would've slowed down or even consulted with someone else before drawing conclusions.

Three Stories

We tend to tell ourselves three types of stories to explain things we don't like. We also use these stories to justify our own bad behavior.

Victim Stories - "It's not my fault."
Villain Stories - "It's all your fault."
Helpless Stories - "There's nothing else I can do."

Stories Result in a Path to Action

1. See/hear (facts)
2. Tell a story (interpretation of facts)
3. Feel (emotions)
4. Act (choose a response)

Our path to action may seem reasonable and certain, but if it is based on a story and a feeling, we may act in ways that are not helpful. I saw the Tweet on Friday night and immediately told myself a story. Then I felt upset and even angry. And that led to the awkward text message conversation that ensued. Oh my...

So this is really practical stuff that we can apply daily. In fact, the entire book has great wisdom for educators. We deal with so many crucial conversations. It happens all day, every day. It's important to develop these skills.

It's so important to remember there are the facts and then there are the stories we tell ourselves based on the facts. To close, here are four questions to ask that can help to avoid the crazy dance of some of our stories.

1. Am I pretending not to notice my role in the problem?
2. Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this? This one would have stopped me cold on Friday night.
3. What do I really want?
4. What would I do right now if I really wanted these results?

I encourage you to read Crucial Conversations. I still mess it up sometimes (obviously), but the book was really helpful for me in dealing with difficult situations. Have you noticed yourself telling stories and jumping to conclusions? Maybe with student behaviors? Or colleagues? Are you retreating to silence or resorting to violence in your conversations? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

21 Phrases to Use in Dealing With Difficult Behaviors

The first priority in creating a positive classroom environment and limiting problem behaviors is to develop positive relationships. That's absolutely essential.

The second priority is to clearly establish expectations, for students and teachers. And that's a necessity also. Both teachers and students should know what to expect.

Building relationships and communicating expectations must be tended to daily. Both are critically important. We have to constantly build relationships and communicate expectations.

But what happens when things go off the tracks a little? How do you address those moments when it's not working well? The following are phrases I use when meeting with a student to work on a behavior concern. I gave a brief description of how and why I might use the phrase.

Set a Positive Tone

1. "I will never intentionally disrespect you."

This is one of my favorite phrases. I want kids to know I intend to show them respect. The implied message is I also expect you to show me respect.

2. "I believe in you."


Kids can't here this enough. It's important to establish positive intentions.

3. "I won't give up on you."

If a child feels you don't accept him or her, you aren't going to get their trust. Sometimes I even say, "I don't approve of what you did, but I will always accept you and be here to help you."

4. "Let's work together to solve this."

All of the problem-solving in working through an issue shouldn't come from the teacher. It's not me vs. you. It's us vs. the problem.

Address the Issue

5. "I was puzzled when you..."

Approach the situation with a sense of curiosity instead of approaching it with judgment, frustration, or anger.

6. "What do we do here when...."

Remind the student of the expectations. "What do we do here when it's time for bell work?" Then work with the student to verbalize the expectations.

7. "What should you have done differently?"

How did your behavior not meet the expectation? Help the student think through what behavior would have been acceptable in the situation.

8. "How did you intend for that to make ______________ feel?"

This is another one of my favorite questions. I often will use this to hold kids accountable if they do something disrespectful to me or someone else. "When you roll your eyes at me when I'm talking with you, how do you intend for that to make me feel? I care about you, and I feel sad or disappointed when you do that."

9. "How did you feel at the time?"

I also want kids to know I care how they are feeling and that feelings can be strong and make us want to do things we shouldn't do. But we are still responsible for our actions.

10. "That seemed upsetting to you."

Paraphrasing is important. Again, validate how the student is feeling but help them know they are still responsible for their actions.

11. "I hear what you are saying. I'm listening."


If you want to help deescalate a situation, make sure the person is feeling heard. Not feeling heard is a sure way to keep the two side apart.

12. "Is it possible that...?"

Help introduce new possibilities to the situation. Kids, and adults for that matter, can get locked into seeing a situation from only one perspective.

Decide on a Path Forward

13. "What should you do when ___________________?"


This questions can be helpful to brainstorm how the student could respond to certain triggers.

14. "What will you do next time?"


It's very important to get a plan that is future-focused. Too often, behavior is handled by just giving consequences. Punishments focus on the past. We want to build toward better future decisions, too.

15. "When will you do it?"


It's just another question to be very intentional about planning for next time. Looking for things like, "I'll do it the first time I'm asked."

16. "What do you need to do now to make this right?"


This question is very important. There may need to be an apology. There may need to be some other action right now to address the problem.

17. "Would you like to _________________ or ____________________?"


Choices are really good for providing some agency while also limiting behavior to acceptable options.

18. "Can I count on you to do that?"


This question is very important. After I discuss with a student the path forward, I will follow up with this one. I want to make sure they are fully committed to our agreement.

19. "Okay, but in case you don't, what do you think are fair consequences?"


The student also needs to consider there will be consequences if the agreement is broken.

Reflect on the Conversation

20. "What's your understanding of what we decided together?"


This question requires students to provide a summary of what was decided.

21. "Do you feel that you've been treated fairly?"

Students may not always be happy when we are finished dealing with an issue, but I want them to feel they have been treated with fairness and respect. If they leave feeling disrespected, it is not going to help them be ready to make changes in their behaviors.

I hope these questions are good reflection for you as you work with students and solve problems. But I want to hear from you. What questions would you add to this list? What are some of your best tips for dealing with difficult situations? Leave a comment below or respond on or .

17 Signs You're a Future Driven Educator

In writing my new book Future Driven, I shared many of the great things I see educators doing that are changing education for the better and helping to prepare students for the world they are facing. And we all know it's a challenging, complex world out there. 

In spite of the immense challenges, I remain very hopeful for the future. And I believe educators are making a huge difference every day to help kids be ready to thrive. But of course, there is plenty more work to be done. In this post, I share a list of things that are themes from my book. If you share these ideals, you're likely a future driven educator.

1. You are not satisfied with the status quo.

You want to take action now to help create a better future. You believe the choices you make today are helping to create a better tomorrow for you and your students. You want to make a difference and add value to others.

2. You believe in the power of building strong relationships.

You know everything rises and falls on the quality of relationships in your classroom in school. You seek to lift up others, bring people together, and connect in authentic, meaningful ways. And no matter how great you believe your relationships are, you are always striving to make them better.

3. Your methods are less important to you than your mission.

You are passionate about kids and learning. Your mission is bold and daring. You want to be a change maker. You want to make learning irresistible for kids. You don't hang on to practices because they work best for you. You explore new practices because they might work best for kids.

4. You want your students to learn more than content.

You don't just develop great lessons. You develop great experiences. You want students to think deeply and develop perseverance, empathy, creativity, and curiosity. You want learning to connect to students' lives in authentic, meaningful ways.

5. You want your students to love learning more than they fear mistakes.

You are willing to take risks and learn from mistakes and you encourage your students to do the same. You know learning is messy. Mistakes are part of the process, and perfectionism is often the enemy of progress. 

6. You are mindful of changes in the world.

We are in an era of accelerating change. The world in a complex, uncertain place. You know it's important for you to be aware of how these changes will impact your students' futures. You chart the course for learning with the new realities of the world in mind. 

7. Your students know you believe in them.

When your students know you believe in them, it brings out the best in them. Your encouragement makes all the difference. The person who influences you the most is the person who believes in you. They will rise to your expectations. You see them for who they are becoming and not just who they are right now. You see a bright future for your students.

8. You have a long term perspective.

You do what's best for your students in the long run. You see your work as an investment in a brighter future and a better tomorrow. Some people hold onto the past and the good ole days. Others are only concerned with the pressing matters of today. But you see out into what could be and want to help make it happen. 

9. You believe students should be more excited about learning tomorrow than they are today.

When students develop passion for learning, it doesn't just impact the here and now. A passionate, skilled learner is able to handle just about anything life throws at them. 

10. You believe learning is for life and not just the next grade level.

Being a student is temporary, but learning is for life. We are just getting students ready for a test, or college, or a career. We are preparing them for anything they might face. 

11. You are always striving to grow and learn.

You aren't waiting around for your school to 'develop' you. You take ownership for your own personal and professional growth. You want to keep getting better so your students can be better too. You know when teachers are growing, that's the best school improvement plan ever.


12. You want to inspire your students to create a brighter future and a better world.

Your students aren't just ready for the future, they are ready to make a difference in the future. Pursuing truth, justice, and equality are essentials for you. You are helping to create the future by inspiring your students to be world changers.

13. You believe your attitude sets the tone.

You model the attitude and mindset you want to see in others. You are positive even when things are tough. You give of yourself to others without expecting anything in return.

14. You want to connect with other educators.

We are each other's best resources. We must be collectively awesome. You want to partner with others and work together to create better schools and unstoppable learning. Nothing's more powerful than a group of committed educators who believe they can solve any problem together.

15. You see yourself as a leader.

When you see something that could be better or a need that could be met, you are willing to step forward and lead. You are the type of person others want to follow, not because you have a position or title, but because of the strength of your character.

16. You see yourself as a digital leader.

You know that our world is increasingly digital and that seismic shifts are happening as a result of technological innovation. You want your students to know how to leverage their skills using digital tools. You want to model digital learning.

17. You value better thinking, not just right answers.

You start with questions and look to push thinking deeper. You want your students to be adaptable learners and skilled critical thinkers. It's not just about getting a right answer. It's about learning to solve problems and create knowledge.

What else is important to you as a future driven educator? Your voice matters. I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Is Fear Holding You Back?

We are only born into this world with two natural fears. 

Any guesses on what those might be?

Death?

Taxes?

Public speaking?

Cheese?

Nope. It's not any of those. Most people have some fear of each of those, except for maybe cheese. A friend of mine is a clinical psychologist, and he had a client who was actually terrified of cheese. A life without cheese? Is that really any kind of life to live? Fortunately, he was able to help this poor soul overcome this fear.

The two natural fears we are actually born with are the fear of heights and the fear of loud sounds. That's it. All of the other fears we experience are later developments and not hard-wired into our DNA. In other words, fear is a choice. It is a function of the thoughts we choose. Sometimes (rarely) it is a helpful choice. But more often, it is a crippling choice.

The last couple of weeks all of our teachers have been working on developing personal goals and growth plans for this year. At times, I sense some people are reluctant to really commit to their own growth. Others are more willing to go out on a limb and take a risk.

I have to wonder if fear is a factor in the reluctance to be bold and audacious about our own growth and goals. Who wants to be mediocre? I don't think anyone really wants that. So why settle for something safe and small. Fear perhaps?

What are some fears that might hold us back? Adam Smith lists 10 fears in his book, The Bravest You: 

Fear of inadequacy
Fear of failure
Fear of uncertainty
Fear of failure
Fear of rejection
Fear of missing out
Fear of change
Fear of losing control
Fear of being judged
Fear of something bad happening

Fear has no favorites. We all have to face it. However, we don't have to submit to its crippling influence. In the video below, the words from the late Steve Jobs really bring perspective to fear and making the most of the time we have. The following phrases really jumped out at me.

"If you knew you were going to die today."

"Avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."

"You are already naked."

"There is no reason not to follow your heart."



So consider this question, "If you had no fear what would you do?"

We all have the opportunity either run from our fears or to run toward our dreams. You have the opportunity for greatness. We all do. We are not intended to shrink away in this life and in the words of the poet Dylan Thomas "go gently into that good night."

Are you running from your fears? Or, are you running toward your dreams?

Be bold. Take risks.

You deserve it. And your kids deserve it too. 

At the end of the day, you will most likely regret the risks you didn't take and not the ones you did.

What risks are you taking this school year? How are you being bold in the pursuit of your dreams? Leave a comment below or respond on or . I want to hear from you.

Are Today's Kids Different?

Sometimes I hear people complain about kids nowadays. I can tell you it doesn't really set too well with me. Sure, there are examples of kids making poor choices. There are kids who are lazy. Some are selfish. We know they are into their devices. But hey, so are we. And there are some challenges they have now we probably didn't have when we were growing up.

But I can tell you I'm going to defend our kids. I'm going to challenge them, but I'm also going to defend them. I'm going to remind everyone of the amazing things our students are doing. I'm going to share the incredible work of the ones who are leading up and lifting up every day. They are making our school a better place. They are making our world a better place.

And even when they make mistakes or show up with all the baggage any of us can bring, I'm not going to stop believing in them. They are the future. Most kids want to do the right thing. But like all of us, they are still learning and finding their way. And some of them haven't had the best examples. 

They need someone to lift them up and believe in them. I can tell you with certainty, you'll have far more influence on kids by believing in them than by doubting them. If you want to make a difference, stop doubting kids. They're not going to rise above your low expectations. They need you to believe in them.

Today, we held our semi-annual academic banquet to celebrate the success of some of our students. I know some people on Twitter have written about not having award ceremonies and that type of thing because it can reinforce a fixed mindset and not acknowledge the growth of other learners who are achieving but may never get recognized. I get it. We need to notice the good work all students are doing.

But at the same time, I'm not going to apologize for recognizing kids who have achieved at a high level. They even had to miss part of the Kansas City Chiefs (Go Chiefs!) game to join us for lunch and a short program. It's a great opportunity to interact with parents and say thank you.

I asked a few students on short notice to talk about the Bolivar Way (see the visual below). It's become our mantra. It guides most everything we do.

I was blown away by the comments our students had about the importance of questions and curiosity.

About making excellence a personal mission and doing your best.

About lifting up others and being a great friend and teammate.

About leading and showing others the way. And to never give up even when it's tough. 

I was amazed by the comments and was totally pumped about this year and what's happening in our school. Our students are "making us better." I'm so proud of them.

So if you want to complain about kids these days, I'm probably not the person who is going to commiserate with you. But what I would like to talk about is how things are different today than when we were kids. Things seem increasingly complex and uncertain. Change is accelerating. The ability to adapt and learn is more important than ever.

So instead of talking about how kids these days need to change, let's talk about how schools need to change to meet the needs of today's kids. 

We owe it to them to teach the enduring principles that will help them succeed. And we need to teach them the skills that are going to be uniquely necessary for this generation. 

Let's challenge the status quo at every turn and build on the positives. Let's create schools that are relevant and passionate. Fill your school with laughter, hope, friendship, purpose, curiosity, creativity, and togetherness.

What kind of culture does your school have? Are you complaining about kids these days? Or, are you investing in kids these days? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or . And keep being great!

Creating Stronger Learners, Stronger Leaders

As I think about what I really want for our students, it always comes back to learning and leading. I want our students to be stronger learners and stronger leaders. I want them to develop habits and mindsets that cause them to continue to grow as learners and leaders even when they leave school.

In my new book Future Driven, I shared what Google senior vice president of people operations, Lazlo Bock, had to say about leading and learning at Google:

For every job, though, the No. 1 thing we look for is general cognitive ability. It's the ability to process on the fly. It's the ability to pull together disparate bits of information. We assess that using structured behavioral interviews that we validate to make sure they're predictive.

And the second is leadership—in particular, emergent leadership as opposed to traditional leadership. Traditional leadership is, were you president of the chess club? Were you vice president of sales? How quickly did you get there? We don't care. What we care about is, when faced with a problem and you're a member of a team, do you, at the appropriate time, step in and lead. And just as critically, do you step back and stop leading, do you let someone else? Because what's critical to be an effective leader in this environment is you have to be willing to relinquish power.

So does content matter? Sure it does. However, the content will change over time, but the ability to learn and the desire to lead will endure even as shifts occur in the world around us. As educators, we only have so much time to work with these students—the current group—but if we can inspire them as learners and leaders, that will carry forward with them. Our impact can endure and continue to pay dividends beyond our time with them.

But we need to help our students have the most authentic learning experience possible. Students need opportunities to practice leading and learning. They need to do things that make a difference beyond just getting a grade or completing an assignment.

You cannot develop as a leader by only reading about it in a book. You can learn leadership principles, but you will only build your capacity as a leader by applying what you learn. You could memorize all sorts of leadership ideas and be a terrible and completely incompetent leader. Growing as a leader happens with the opportunity to practice leadership skills and to get feedback and reflect.

Similarly, you cannot develop fully as a learner if you are only accepting new information. You can memorize stuff. You might get right answers. But that's not enough. Students need opportunities to apply learning, to make choices as a learner, and to refine their personal learning interests. 

The traditional model of school has not served students well in developing adaptable learners or leaders, in my view. Sure, there have been some opportunities to develop in these areas, but we need to consistently provide opportunities for students to develop their capacity as learners and leaders.

What about in your classroom? I certainly hope students are learning content. But are they also having opportunities to develop more deeply as learners and leaders? Are they learning HOW to learning? Are they learning HOW to lead? Leave me a comment. I want to hear from you. You can also share out on or .

Focus On Who Students Are Becoming, Not Just Who They Are Right Now

I'm thankful I don't always get what I deserve. Sometimes maybe I've gotten worse, but far more often I've been blessed far beyond what I merited. It's because people believed in me even when I didn't have a clue. And the people who believed in me had a great influence on me.

As educators, we are working with immature human beings. They are kids. Of course, there are plenty of adults who still haven't matured, but that's what we're trying to avoid. We want to help students develop into mature, responsible grownups.

But it can be very challenging. As a teacher, you know you will be mistreated. It's just part of working in a school with kids who bring all their junk with them each day. We should also remember we're bringing our fair share of junk too.

Students are going to challenge your kindness. They aren't always going to appreciate your offers of help. They don't always respond the way we would like them to. And that's why it's important to keep a long-term perspective. Today may have been a really bad day. But let's make sure we have a fresh start tomorrow.

Let's focus on who students are becoming, not just who they are right now. The temptation is to treat students as they deserve. 

I'll treat them with dignity when they act with dignity. I'll show respect when they earn it. I'll show them kindness and help them when they live up to my expectations.

But what if we tried a different approach? What if we extend grace and treat them better than they deserve? What if we focused on showing them we believe in them? Why not try something different?

Today, as I was greeting kids coming into school, I got a good morning high five from a student who has been less than respectful to me this year. I was shocked. More than once, I've thought about directly addressing some of the passive-aggressive behaviors I've felt from the student. 

And that would've been a perfectly appropriate response. In fact, I think some teachers probably need to be more assertive in setting boundaries and communicating expectations. I never want to condone bad behavior. Accountability is important, but the most important thing is growth. Sometimes growth comes from giving someone space to grow.

So in this case, I decided to just continue being nice. I decided to keep smiling, saying hello, and brushing off the subtle offenses. I decided to treat the student with the most care and concern I could muster. And maybe it's working? The high five this morning was a good sign. But only time will tell.

When you extend grace, it can turn a heart around. Instead of allowing a student to create an adversarial relationship, refuse to be part of that. Continue with kindness.

How will you interact with your students? Will you treat them as they deserve? Or will you treat them like they might just change the world someday? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

An Encouraging Word Can Last a Lifetime

As a high school principal in a small town, even getting fast food can be a unique experience. Of course, many of our students are the ones working at these restaurants. Sometimes, when I place an order at the drive through, the voice on the other end will say, "Hello Dr. G!"

This past week a student asked if I'd been to Sonic a day earlier. I replied that I had, and the student said, "Yeah I thought I recognized your voice."

We all have a voice. Every educator speaks hundreds of words every day. Sometimes at school and sometimes outside of school. How we use our voice is so important. It's important to use it in ways that make an impact.

Your words matter and might make a lasting difference far beyond what you expect.

I remember two instances of encouragement I received as a student that had a profound impact on me. Both were during times of transition in my life. The words of support were significant. They were at the right time and in the right moment. And as a result, I have never forgotten those words.

The first instance was shortly after my family moved to a new town, and I was in a new school. Not only was I in a new school, I was also entering high school as a freshmen. I went out for the basketball team, wanting badly to make the team. But in pre-season conditioning I was far behind the other boys. They blew me away, and quite frankly I was embarrassed and wanted to quit. But the head varsity coach approached me and said these words, "Don't give up. You can do it. Just keep working at it each day. I want to see you make this team."

I have never forgotten those words. Later that school year my family moved again. A couple of years after that, I played in a game against my old school and scored 18 points in a varsity game against Coach Radford, the same coach who encouraged me as a struggling freshmen. He created a monster.

The second instance was as a freshmen in college. My first semester didn't go so well because I was not focused academically. I knew I let my parents down, and I wasn't happy with myself either. But in my second semester, I was fully committed to getting good grades. I was studying and staying on top of everything. Psychology was a fun class but the professor was known for really tough tests. I had made a huge stack of note cards to study. I remember I was sitting near the front, and he noticed my stack of note cards. He looked at them and said, "You're working really hard at this aren't you."

It almost seems silly to me now that I still remember that comment so vividly. But it made a big impression on me. I looked up to the professor, and I was proud he noticed my effort.

Both of these examples were not extraordinary circumstances. They were caring educators who probably made a habit of lifting up students and encouraging them to do their best. But for me, the words were extraordinary. Your efforts to encourage can last a lifetime. You never know how your words may create a lasting influence.

What will students remember when they think of your voice?

Can you think of a time you were encouraged by someone in your life? How can you bring that to your work as an educator now? Who will you lift up? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Future Driven: Looking Forward, Giving Back

I'm happy to announce the release of Future Driven: Will Your Students Thrive In An Unpredictable World! Back at the start of summer I made a public commitment that I would have this passion project finished before the start of the new school year (See: Do Something Today to Move In the Direction of Your Dreams).

Well, we've been in school for a couple of weeks now. So I didn't exactly meet my own deadline. But hey, there are still many schools who haven't returned from summer break yet, so technically maybe I did!

The book is now available on Amazon. And for a very limited time, the Kindle version of Future Driven will only be $2.99. I encourage you to download it now. 

Plus, through the end of September, I'm donating all of the proceeds from Future Driven to Care to Learn, an organization in our community that provides for the health, hunger, and hygiene needs of disadvantaged school-age children. It is important to me to give back to our students. It's always about students first. I want to be part of creating a better future through better schools. It starts with us.

Care to Learn was started in Springfield, MO by philanthropist Doug Pitt. You might have heard of his brother, Brad. Yes, the same Hollywood Brad Pitt you see regularly in the grocery checkout line. The organization now has many chapters in our area, including here in Bolivar. 



About half of our students are from low income households and qualify for free/reduced lunches. With Care to Learn, we are able to instantly meet the emergent health, hunger, and hygiene needs of our students. 

If a kid needs shoes, clothes, eyeglasses, groceries, etc., our counselors take him or her shopping and meet the need right away. We know it's impossible for students to learn their best if they have unmet needs. We are so thankful for Care to Learn.

I certainly hope you find Future Driven inspiring and helpful. Your work matters. You are needed as a change maker. Just know that if you get your copy now, you'll also be helping kids have what they need to learn. Your support of Care to Learn will make an impact too.

Let me know if you have any questions about Future Driven or my process of being an independent author. It has been an unbelievable adventure and so many have helped me along the way. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Be sure to the use the hashtag #FutureDriven as you share your passion for being a future-driven educator.

Future Driven: Will Your Students Thrive In An Unpredictable World?

In Future Driven, David Geurin describes how to conquer the status quo, create authentic learning, and help your students thrive in an unpredictable world. He shares how to simultaneously be more committed to your mission while being more flexible with your methods. You'll discover strategies to ...

11 Ways to Build Capacity and Never Stop Growing

I am passionate about growth. So when Julie Woodard (@woodard_julie) asked me about collaborating on the visual featured in this post, I was all in. She's the amazing artist, folks. I'm just glad to think about a topic that matters to me. So here goes. 

It's so important to always continue to grow and build capacity, both in yourself and in others. Of course, as educators, we want our students to always be growing. I'll be curious to know your thoughts. I rattled off this list in a very short time. Ask Julie. So it probably could use some further thinking. Your thinking is one thing that makes me stronger and keeps me growing. So thanks!

Here's the list: 11 Ways to Build Capacity and Never Stop Growing

1. Take Risks

You can only grow if you step forward into the unknown. It requires a leap of faith. Sure, you must establish a secure foundation, but you must be willing to go out on a limb to be able to truly grow. Okay, so maybe I just mixed my metaphors terribly. That's a risk I'm willing to take.

2. Ask Questions

Questions are essential to learning and growth. Physicist and Laureate Richard Feynman said, "There is no learning without having to pose a question." We must constantly ask questions if we want to learn. We must question ourselves and question others. We should strive to consistently have the perspective of a curious learner. 

3. Help Others

When you help others, you will grow. If there are two things that go together like peanut butter and jelly, it's giving and growing. When you give, you grow. And when you are growing, you are better able to give. Helping others is a wonderful reason to never stop growing.

4. Learn From Mistakes

You should never be afraid to make a mistake. We learn by making mistakes. You should just strive to not repeat them. You should always strive to learn from them. Everything worthwhile is challenging. There will be mistakes. There will be difficulties. There will be impossible situations. But these are incredible opportunities to grow.

5. Embrace Change

To grow, you have to willing to grow. You have to be willing to change. You have to want to be better tomorrow than you are today. You have to be willing to challenge your assumptions and be open to another way. 

6. Be Future Driven

We cannot grow by clinging to the past. In fact, many people are stuck where they are because of things that happened yesterday. The choices you make today will shape your future. Being future driven is having a vision for a better tomorrow and then growing into that vision. Of course, this one is also a nod to my soon-to-be-released book, Future Driven.

7. Generate Positive Energy

Growth can be difficult. There will be obstacles and doubters. There are people who will try to bring you down. The only way to press forward is to choose a positive attitude. It gives you the energy to never give up.

8. Practice Reflective Thinking

Reflective thinking is how we learn from the experiences of our life. We test our thinking. We consider what went well and what didn't go well. The ability to honestly and accurately reflect is critical to your growth. We need feedback to grow. But we will only learn from the feedback if we reflect on it and act on it. Feedback is dust in the wind without reflection.

9. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

If you want to grow, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. This week in meetings with students I showed the video below. I let them know we are going to push them. We are going to have very high expectations. Sometimes, it might make them uncomfortable. But know we are doing it because we care. We want you to grow. You will only grow with some discomfort. Sometimes it feels hard. Sometimes it feels a little frightening. Watch the video and you'll see what I mean. But in the end, when we push through the discomfort, we will accomplish great things.

10. Feel Affirmed and Supported

These last two are related to how you feel about growing. It's great to have someone in your life who is speaking words of affirmation and support into your efforts to grow. But even if you don't have those positive voices from the outside, you can be your own source of encouragement. You choose the conversation going on in your head. You choose your thoughts. If you discipline yourself to choose the words that build you up and keep you moving forward, you can overcome even the negative voices in your environment. What are you going to listen to?

11. Be Challenged to Grow

Again, it's great if you have someone in your life who is challenging you to grow. It's great to have someone who believes in you, pushing you, leading you, and helping you along the way. So try to bring those people into your life. But even if you don't, you can challenge yourself. You can choose thoughts that are challenging. You can push yourself. Just keep in mind, you won't be great by small thinking. You will only be great when you go after the big challenges. Be bold. 

So what are your thoughts? How could this list be improved? How are you challenging yourself and others to grow? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

9 Elements of Effective Communication

Communication is one of the toughest things about leading. You work constantly to improve your verbal, written, and interpersonal skills. You strive to communicate strategically, systematically, and with empathy. You recognize the importance of effective communication with your team, your parents, your community. And yet, the effectiveness of your communication falls flat. It happens to everyone.

One thing that can always be better in just about every organization is communication. I know I need to continue to grow in this area. Clear communication is essential in personal relationships, in classroom settings, and across the entire school community. 

Regardless of whether you are a principal, a teacher, or have another leadership role in your school. You can become a better communicator. It's something we should always strive to improve. When we are clear with our message and more understanding as listeners, it builds positive culture and improves the learning environment.

One of the most important things for effective communication is situational awareness. Our message is really not about us. It's about meeting the needs and expectations of others. We have to communicate with the audience in mind, if it's 1 or 100. It's important to adapt to the situation and communicate in a way that will meet others in a productive and positive manner.

Let's be clear, our communication is one way we influence others. Our communication should seek to lift up others, help them be stronger, and ultimately help them exhibit leadership qualities that are helpful to the mission. Sometimes this involves delivering hard truths, setting boundaries, and standing firm. 

As I write this post, I am reminded how much I need to review these principles. I often fall short in communicating effectively and want to continuously strive to improve these skills.

1. Listen more, talk less

Effective communication is not just broadcasting a message. It's not saying more and saying it louder. Great communicators are great listeners. They really try to understand the perspective of others. They initiate dialogue. Dialogue involves sharing meaning in the conversation. It doesn't necessarily mean there is full agreement. It just means that both parties are listening with empathy and really trying to understand each other and find areas of common ground.

2. Reach out.

Even though I try to be visible throughout our school, sometimes I find I'm talking to the same people over and over. I need to make sure that I'm communicating regularly with everyone. The same thing can happen in the classroom. It's easy to engage outgoing students or teachers who are talkative. But it's important to connect with as many people as possible. 

3. Never miss a chance to share the message

Look for opportunities to share your key message. What is the vision of your classroom or school? What is the focus? Too often we only focus on the 'why' behind our work at the start of the school year. We emphasize the mission and the vision. But if we don't revisit that on a regular basis, the mission will veer off course. One of my #1 goals for next year is to fine-tune our vision, communicate our vision, rinse and repeat. Whatever you think is the right amount of communication to get your message across, triple it.

4. Invite two way communication

Don't just wait for feedback to come to you. Ask for it. Check in with your students, your parents, your colleagues, everyone. Be curious about how people are experiencing your classroom or school. Ask interesting questions. What's running smoothly? What could be improved? What skills are you improving? What skills would you like to improve? What have you achieved that makes you proud? What do you need from me to reach your goals? How can I help you?

5. Show acceptance and encouragement

Make your communications more personal. Invite people in. Make them feel like they belong. When people feel accepted, they are more willing to listen. Empathy establishes trust. It says "I accept you." And empathy provides the foundation for encouragement. Encouragement leads to growth. Encouragement says, "I believe in you." Encouraging leaders help people take next steps to grow and contribute in more powerful ways. 

6. Activate others to spread the message

Who else can help clarify or repeat the message? If you are the only one sharing a message, you are greatly limiting your reach. As you build your team, give them a nudge about the things that need to be communicated. Model for them the type of communication that is needed. I always encourage our teachers to never miss a chance to say something good about our school. When we activate others to help share the message, it builds bridges between our school and community.

7. Evoke emotion

The most powerful communication is tied to emotion. It's personal. We feel something. Great leaders don't just communicate a clear message, they offer a compelling message. They speak not only to the mind, but to the heart. We can have all the information in the world that we should do something, and yet we won't take action. We are only moved to action when we are moved. We need inspiration. Leaders evoke emotion when they show how much they care, when they reveal their own emotions, and when they help others feel they are part of something important that is making a difference. We all want to be part of something bigger than ourselves.

8. Read Between the Lines

Leaders must have awareness of what's being communicated even if it's not being said. The communication through body language, tone of voice, and behavior is telling. Leaders should always work at building awareness and seeking to bring forward meaning that might be hidden or unknown. There are too many times I picked up on signals but brushed them aside, only to find out later that the problem was much bigger than I realized. I want to improve my ability to pick up on underlying concerns before they become serious issues. It's always best to be proactive rather than reactive.

9. Stay calm and be positive

Anyone who aspires to be a leader will face challenges and be expected to rise to the occasion. Strong leaders are able to face difficult circumstances while remaining calm and positive. No matter what happens, we have a choice how we will respond. We can respond with fear, anxiety, and anger. Or, we can respond with diligence, duty, and action. It doesn't help to fret the problem. It helps when we rally together to overcome the problem. 

Question: What aspects of communication are most challenging for you? What frustrates you about communication? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or .

Schools Should Be Places Where the Present and Future Collide

Educators should be futurists. Now you're probably thinking, "What the heck, one more thing I have to be. It always feels like teachers are being asked to do more and more, with less and less. One more thing!" But hang on, I'm not asking you to do more. I'm asking you to shift your perspective.

Futurists are scientists or social scientists who look ahead to the future of what might be possible. They don't necessarily try to predict the future. No one can do that. But they do explore the possibilities of how current realities might lead to future developments in any and all areas of life.

Futurists believe in progress. They believe there is more to be done, that we can expand our capacity, that we can solve some of the most pressing problems of today. Of course, they also warn of what might happen if we don't address some of the potential problems of the future.

Years ago, Harvard Professor Edward Banfield described a study in his book Unheavenly Cities related to factors that best predicted individual's upward social mobility and economic prosperity. He expected factors like family background, intelligence, connections, race, or some other fixed characteristic to be most influential.

But what he found surprised him. The greatest factor related to future productivity and success was what he termed "long-term perspective." Writer Brian Tracy describes Banfield's findings:

He said that men and women who were the most successful in life and the most likely to move up economically were those who took the future into consideration with every decision they made in the present. He found that the longer the period of time a person took into consideration while planning and acting, the more likely it was that he would achieve greatly during his career.

The importance of long-term thinking makes sense to me. We are faced on a daily basis with decisions to do what is easiest in the short-term or do what's best in the long-term. Wisdom is knowing the right thing to do and having the courage to do it.

But it's more than delayed gratification and self-discipline. It is also having a vision for what the future will demand. It's thinking like a futurist. It's being forward-thinking and reflecting on how a changing world will impact my world, the way I live, and work, and interact.

It's also important for educators and schools to have a long-term perspective. In my upcoming book, Future Driven: Will Your Students Thrive In An Unpredictable World? I challenge educators to reflect on their own perspective. 

Schools should be less like time capsules and more like time machines. The time capsule approach only protects the status quo. It assumes the way we have taught in the past is good enough for today's students too. The time capsule teacher wants to remind us of everything in the past and wants to filter everything in the future through that. To be blunt, the time capsule teacher is stuck in the past.

But the time machine teacher wants to transcend the current reality. When you think about stories involving time machines, they typically involve using time travel to solve a problem or impact a destiny. They involve a hero's journey. 

In this case, I am suggesting that time machine teachers want to create a better future. They have a long term perspective. Even though they can't literally visit the future, they are future driven. They are pushing forward and living in the emerging future.

We are living in a rapidly changing, complex world. Our students will need a future driven education to be ready for the challenges they will face.

Educators make the biggest impact in a place where the future and the present collide. A future focus, combined with action today, has the greatest potential to produce positive change. We need to have a long-term perspective and so do our students. We have to model that for them and cause them to think in those terms. 

The place where today meets tomorrow is where you can make the greatest difference as an educator. Your impact will depend on your perspective and your actions.

I expect Future Driven to be released in a matter of weeks. It will challenge your perspective. It will help you increase your capacity for positive change. It describes how to become a time machine teacher and how to create a future driven school.

I don't want to jump through hoops. I don't want to go through the motions. I never want to waste precious time. I want to do my part to create a brighter future. I believe most educators want the same. You are building futures every day. 

Question: What are ways our schools are time capsules, stuck in the past? What are you doing to move forward and have a long-term perspective? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or respond on or . 

How To Have Killer Meetings That Get Results

I recently read Death by Meeting by Patrick Lencioni. This book is a must read for any leader who wants to improve the quality of meetings in his or her organization. Every team could benefit from the insights shared in this leadership fable. 

The problem with meetings is that they are often boring, and they don't usually get the desired results. There are a couple of reasons this happens. I'd like to share some of what I learned from Lencioni's book and encourage you to read it if you would like to have killer meetings instead of death by meetings.

Two Problems With Meetings

Major Problem #1 is Lack of Conflict. But not the bad kind of conflict. NOT personal conflict. It’s the kind we have in the plot of a movie or novel. There is a problem to be solved. It drives the meeting forward in a narrative fashion. There is a story. There will be conflict between the ‘characters’ in the meeting, but we want it to be constructive conflict around important issues directly related to the problem. Conflict will result in better decisions. There will be ideological differences. Leaders have to help to create some of the urgency needed for a plot to be interesting. If meetings lack conflict, they are boring. And they basically result in people ‘hanging out’ together instead of solving problems together. Lencioni suggests three ideas leaders can use to help get meaningful dialogue started.

Hook Example - “We have a real problem with apathy. 50% of our students failed at least one class last year. We are all dealing with bored, disengaged students. We don’t want to see students coast through school and pay the price later. We aim for excellence here, and we aren’t getting excellence out of all our students.”

Mining for Conflict - Confront issues that need to be addressed. Don’t avoid them.

Real-time Permission - Let others know the conflict is good. “I’m glad we are having this discussion, even though it may be a little uncomfortable and force us to rethink our work.”

Major Problem #2 is Lack of Contextual Structure. When different types/purposes for the meeting are all lumped together in “meeting stew” with no distinction, the meeting goes all over the place. People talk to fill up the time but not toward a goal or purpose. The dialogue isn’t leading to a decision.

Lencioni presents several types of meetings, but I found two of these to be particularly useful in our school setting.

Type #1 Tactical Meetings - Issues of immediate concern. Most routine meetings should be tactical. They are very structured and includes the following elements:

Lightning Round - A quick, around-the-table reporting session in which everyone indicates two or three priorities for the week. It should take each team member no more than one minute to quickly describe what is on their respective plates. It sets the tone for the meeting.

Progress Review - Reporting of critical information or metrics. What are the key areas of progress either ongoing or established at the previous meeting? Limit metrics to just 2 or 3. Limit discussion of underlying issues here.

Real-time agenda - Once the lightning round and progress review are complete, the agenda is set by what everyone is working on and how the group is performing against its goals, not based on the leader’s best guess 48 hours before the meeting. There must be disciplined spontaneity here. What are the next steps? “Should we develop a more effective question for the common assessment?” “What are we going to do this week about the increasing Ds and Fs in our classes?” Stay focused on tactical issues that must be addressed to ensure short-term objectives are not jeopardized. Any obstacles to tactical issues must be removed.

Possible Obstacles: 1. Temptation to set an agenda. 2. Spending too much time on the lightning round. 3. Discussion about long-term strategic issues. Team member will raise strategic issues that will take the focus off the short-term topics (aka - doing real work together). There is a different meeting for the strategic issues. Any strategic issues brought up are added to the list of topics for the next type of meeting.

Type #2 The Monthly Strategic - The most important and most fun type of meeting. The team debates, analyzes, and decides critical issues that will affect the school/team in fundamental ways. The hardest thing will be having enough time. Issues will have to be limited to only the most important. In this type of meeting, members need to know in advance what will be discussed. Members must come prepared. Decisions must be made with good information, data, research, etc. Decisions are not made on anecdotal information alone. This meeting decides the team’s larger strategic plan and where the team is headed next. Again, fear of conflict can cause these meetings to be ineffective.

Closing

Meetings don’t have to be a waste of time. They can actually save time, because our results are better when our meetings are better. We can be proactive. Alignment saves time because we pull together instead of pulling in a multitude of directions.

A few other notes…

The meeting should always focus on the people in the room. What are we (these people) going to do about the problem? If there is a need to partner with others in addressing the problem, invite them to the next meeting.

Meetings generate energy when…

1. Teams brag about wins
2. Relationships are strengthened
3. The path forward is clear
4. Accountability focuses on the people around the table

Question: What other ideas would you share to have killer meetings? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below or share your thoughts on or .