Who Are You Listening To?

Every day you hear from people who build up and people that tear down. You encounter voices who care about you, who lift you up, who invest in your well-being. You also encounter those who take away, who speak carelessly, and who doubt you in every way. 

As an educator, you will always have people who invest in you, and you will always have those who try to tear you down. It's true for everyone.

But who will you listen to? 

Will you spend your time thinking about the critic? Or, will you choose to focus on the positive? It's your choice. You can't control who you might meet in the course of your day, but you can choose how you respond to every influence. 

You can choose to magnify the words of affirmation, hope, encouragement, and truth. Or, you can choose to magnify the doubts, fears, and frustrations.

I urge you to listen to those who...

• see the best in you.
• build on your strengths.
• encourage you.
• show empathy.
• make you feel stronger.
• cheer on your best efforts.
• give good advice.
• are there when things are rough.
• understand.
• listen.
• forgive you.
• pray for you.
• genuinely care about you.

There are a number of people who are my champions. I draw strength from their encouragement, and that in turn, helps me to give more to others. When we fill ourselves up with the positives, we can overflow into the lives of others.

Your influence matters too much to allow negative people to bring you down. Your students are counting on you. And your colleagues are counting on you too. Most of all your family is counting on you. So much of who we are is influenced by who we listen to.

Listen to people who want to lift you higher. Don't ever surrender your thoughts to those who would bring you down.

Question: Who do you listen to? How are you inspired by your champions? Leave a comment or respond on or .

A message for the Class of 2015

It was an especially exciting graduation season for our family this year since my son Drew was among the 180 students in the Bolivar HS Class of 2015. When your dad is also principal, commencement is a little different for sure. He was even quoted in the yearbook as saying he was frequently asked, "So what's it like having your dad as the principal?"

For me, it was a great honor and privilege to get to present him with his diploma. And I wish him and the rest of the Class of 2015 a fantastic future. The group is filled with wonderful, interesting, and talented young adults. As far as achievement goes, they did okay on that account too. The grads earned nearly $2.3 million in scholarships, setting a new record for BHS.

Each year, I have the opportunity to make a few remarks to encourage and congratulate the graduating class. I always try to keep my message short but hopefully meaningful. My speech this year follows.

Help students with challenging behaviors without 'fixing'

I am often tempted to want to fix a situation, or worse yet an individual, when I am suffering the consequences of reckless behaviors, irresponsible actions, or disrespectful attitudes. As educators we work with many students each day and want them all to be successful. Moreover, we need them to be successful. We cannot succeed in our teaching mission if our students are not cooperative learners.

But too often students are dealing with issues in their lives that complicate their efforts to learn. It's been said, hurt people hurt people. So as students enter the classroom, so do all of the imperfections we share as humans. Students aren't always going to be kind, cooperative, and focused. Sometimes they will act in ways that completely contradict what the teacher needs for a successful classroom.

As a young teacher, all too often I would become terribly frustrated by negative student behaviors and fail to see the unmet needs, buried under the surface, that were triggering the harmful actions. I would focus my attention on addressing the undesirable behavior with 'increasing consequences' and protect at all costs my 'authority' in the classroom. The result of course was torn relationships and even greater feelings of hurt and rejection on the part of both teacher and student. Not good!

So it's never productive to try to 'fix' our student's behavior. It is our job to address non-learning behaviors by simply stating our observation of the behavior and how it is impacting the classroom. Sometimes, we must take further actions to protect the learning climate. But when we create a classroom of acceptance and caring, students are more likely to feel safe enough to actually address their own issues. This ownership is actually the only way to achieve lasting change.

Here are a few ideas for being a helper and not a fixer:
1. Care more about who your students are becoming than how they are acting in the moment.
2. Know when to put aside a conversation and pick it up later.
3. Believe the best of your students (most people are doing the best they know how).
4. Teach positive behaviors.
5. Approach a difficult conversation side-by-side and not from behind a desk or nose-to-nose.
6. Listen to your students.
7. Don't try to prove you're in charge. You have a teaching contract that establishes that.
8. Worry more about acting with character than losing face in front of your students.

Missing the mark

It's been a great summer of professional engagement and exciting learning with my PLN. The educators and thought leaders on Twitter really push my thinking and help me raise my own standard of excellence. It's great to test ideas in the Twittersphere to further refine and clarify one's philosophy.

But I caught a moment of disappointment just the other day. I realized that my attitudes and beliefs professed on Twitter and shared with others hadn't held true in a real situation. I had missed the mark. I am constantly proclaiming the power of positivity and seeing the best in others and yet I was quite frankly having a bad attitude.

So that moment of reflection started me thinking about all the other areas I have increased my own accountability as a result of my online publishing. My actions and attitudes have to be in line with my words that are shared in my PLN. I must model a growth mindset. I must take risks and do things that are uncomfortable. I must be a positive deviant. I must live out my faith. And so much more.

But I also need grace. Like every person I will fall short of my own expectations, not to mention the expectations of others. I will drop the ball. I will let someone down in spite of my desire to never let that happen. I will have more moments of regret knowing that I've not held true. 

The important thing is to be real and to set the mark high and strive to hit it. I'm not going to lower my expectations out of fear of failure. Even thought it may be difficult, I'm going to hold myself to my beliefs and do my very best to have my actions rise up to meet my words.

May we all aim high but also have a heart of forgiveness and understanding for others as we journey together in our imperfection. I'm grateful for God's enduring and overflowing grace.